


Alec's hot neighbour.

by greengoddess3



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Best Friends, Birthday Sex, Dancing, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Drunken Shenanigans, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Happy Ending, House Party, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Neck Kissing, Neighbors, Office Sex, POV Alec, Pining, Sad Magnus Bane, Secret Crush, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Vulnerable Magnus Bane, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-06-08 20:36:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15251565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greengoddess3/pseuds/greengoddess3
Summary: A drunken kiss.A Magnus Bane.A blind date.A lot of denial.A whole lotta love.aka when Alec and Magnus finally realise they are way more than just 'friends' and maybe, always have been.





	1. Can't you see?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags will be updated as chapters are posted so please check them before you read.
> 
> Also thanks for reading, comments/feedback much appreciated :)

Alec should have known the moment that Magnus moved into his apartment complex that his life was over.

Well not over, but harder, more troubling, marked by a sequence of life altering events that he would never forget.

It wasn't hard to see why, you just had to take one look at the man that was Magnus Bane and you would automatically come undone. With his muscular body that tensed so beautifully when he pulled you into a warm embrace or the gleam in his eyes when spotting a potential lover. Magnus was nothing but a dazzling enigma, the most alluring kind of man. Who could make you feel like you belonged to only him whilst appealing to almost anybody.

Alec knew this, he knew of Magnus’ charm and the way he would flit around a room enticing the most staunch of individuals to engage in all sorts of frivolities. All it took was one look from Magnus and you could feel your insides radiating with the most tempestuous of excitement. 

He would never admit it but honestly, he truly could not resist the man. 

Which is how Alec found himself at a bar at 11pm on a Friday night surrounded by his siblings and close friends, watching Magnus eye fucking a man from across the room.

Perfectly fine, if Alec wasn't completely, head over heels in ….like with Magnus.

The worst part? His very nosy and annoying younger siblings were hellbent on interfering in his love life. One of which was way too observant for her own good and seemed to find some sort of pleasure out of interrogating him at the worst of times.

‘Alec, just….tell….him.’ Isabelle’s eyes flit between him and Magnus. In some sort of bid to be his own personal matchmaker, she spends majority of their time together trying to set him up on random dates or forcing him to admit he may just have feelings for his _extremely_ attractive neighbour.

‘Izzy, you need to stop. There’s nothing to tell him.’ Alec was definitely not in the mood for Izzy’s persistence today. Not after pulling a usual 60+ work week with minimal sleep and dealing with the constant stream of ‘potential matches’ Izzy had been spamming him with.

‘Ugh, Alec you are so annoying. Why can’t you two just hurry up and get together. The sexual tension between the both of you is so fucking beautiful.’ This is definitely Alec’s cue to leave, there is nothing worse then inebriated and love drunk Izzy. Thank the powers that be that her boyfriend Simon is not here for her to gush over. Actually no, maybe that is a better scenario, then she will leave him to enjoy what’s left of their usual Friday night drinks in peace.

‘Okay, that’s me leaving.’ Throwing back the remainder of his drink, Alec grabs his leather jacket from the back of his chair, wrapping it around his body as he smoothly slots the arms through his sleeves. He was supposed to share an Uber home with Magnus but he’d rather not have to listen to another man sucking Magnus’ lips in the backseat. 

So is the usual conclusion of most of their shared nights out. A conclusion which Alec acknowledges but will also seemingly deny troubles him.

At some point in their conversation, Magnus catches Alec’s intention to leave the bar alone. ‘Leaving so soon?’ Alec feels a familiar arm wrap around his waist as Magnus’ hot breath hits his cool skin. Grinning, Alec retorts, ’Leaving before I make some questionable decisions.’ He turns his head and winks at Magnus as he strolls out of the bar, leaving an amused Magnus behind.

***

Alec really could have walked home, but the last thing he wanted right now was to deal with the strange feeling in his stomach. A feeling he always seems to get whenever under Magnus’ gaze or at the slightest of his touches. He definitely didn't want his mind to wander to _that_ place. Where possibilities met probabilities: like, he possibility sees Magnus as more than a friend, which he probability will never admit to it. 

Magnus is one of the most beautiful men he has ever laid eyes. No man has even come close to matching his soft caramel skin, shining golden eyes, grandeur speech and dazzling smile. Magnus is a dream wrapped in a fantasy. A man who gives the world to the people he loves. Alec has seen it, seen how quickly he gives and just as quickly falls. He’s been there for the joy, the tears and in many ways has helped his magnificent friend rebuild himself.

Deep down Alec wishes he could be the one to give Magnus everything he deserves. Unfortunately Magnus is ’not made for more than a quickie’, or so he most eloquently described. A fact that had caused Alec to bury any thought or feeling that portrays Magnus as anything more than his neighbour turned close friend. After what happened between them it was just easier to brush it all aside and avoid the awkwardness of _that_ night. They promised each other to not allow it to come between their buddying friendship, especially as they make such frequent appearances in each other’s lives.

Sometimes however, such promises are terribly hard for Alec to keep. When 3 hours after leaving the bar, Alec opens his door to a less then stable Magnus. Ruffled hair, clothes in disarray, kiss swollen lips, Alec was stupid not to know what Magnus had been up to.

‘Magnus, It’s way past my bedtime and you are clearly ready for another kind of bed…. time.’ Alec leant against his door frame with a knowing smirk on his face. Magnus had an uncanny knack for getting himself into the most interesting of situations, much to Alec’s amusement.

‘Darling, let’s be honest, we both know I don't need a bed to get what I _came_ for.’ Alec rolls his eyes as Magnus pats his face and slinks his way into Alec’s apartment, making a beeline straight for Alec’s room.

‘Bit eager aren't we? At least take me to dinner before you try and get into my bed.’

Magnus turns swiftly, already darkened eyes boring into Alec’s own. The intensity of his gaze catches Alec off guard. Ducking his head, Alec rubs the back of his neck, a telltale sign of his unease in uncomfortable situations. Over the past 2 years of knowing Magnus, Alec has learnt to construct a confident demeanour to counteract Magnus’ flirtatious banter. As hard as he tries, sometimes Magnus gets past the facade and drums up remnants of his concealed affections towards the man. 

‘Oh darling, one can only dream.’ Winking, Magnus pattered to Alec’s bedside table, extracting his lube and condoms and in a swift movement gliding out his door, blowing him a lazy kiss.

In that moment, Alec definitely could not ignore the rough drop in his stomach as he realised the true motivations behind Magnus late night visit.

***

‘Alec you are not wearing that shirt. Jace, please tell him he can’t wear that!’

Somehow, Alec had found himself being bombarded as he got ready for one of those stupid ‘blind dates’ Izzy insisted on setting him up on. He definitely did not want to go but found it the only solution to giving him some sense of peace from Izzy’s perseverance.

Smirking as he draped his body across Alec’s lounge, Jace shrugged. ‘Probably will look good…on your date’s floor.’ Jace leapt off the counter, darting into the kitchen at the incoming assault of lounge cushions from his brother.

‘Jace you are honestly so annoying. Shouldn't you be with Clary, not here torturing me with your presence.’

Smacking his lips, Jace chugged half of his freshly opened beer, groaning loudly. A habit he had picked up that he knew that Alec despised.

Alec loved his siblings, as much pain as they brought him he couldn't deny how grateful he was to have them in his life. They were his strongest allies when he was figuring out his sexuality. He could never forget how they saved him from making the worst decision of his life when his parents tried to force him to marry Lydia. At the age of 18, Alec wanted nothing more than to please his parents and ensure the best future for his siblings. Even if that meant entering into a loveless marriage for the sake of strengthening business ties between his and Lydia’s family businesses. 

His devotion towards his family and friends was unrelenting. He didn't have many people in his life, but the ones he did he kept close to his heart, for he knew the value of having a strong support system.

So, maybe that meant making sacrifices. Like sacrificing the time you could be relaxing in the comfort of your own home, to entertain Izzy’s apparently ‘hot and successful with a good body’ work friend, Ethan.

Alec decided he might as well give this guy a chance, if Izzy’s gushing was anything to go by, Ethan was at least worth the date. Maybe Alec would at least get a kiss out of this or something more to satisfy his desires. After his messy break up with Raj over 2 years ago, the last thing Alec wanted was another clingy companion. He was happy with where his life was at the moment. He had his siblings, his work, his beautiful neighbour that made his heart race and insides recklessly tumble.

His beautiful, emotionally unavailable, flirtatious neighbour who was so out of his league. With each and every passing day, Alec was finding it increasingly harder to deny the attraction that has been building between him and Magnus. Well, obviously a very one sided and foolish fascination that Alec could never pursue.

He really shouldn't be thinking about Magnus, but sitting in this dimly lit restaurant, listening to Ethan talk about himself for the past 2 hours has Alec wishing to be anywhere else.

‘So, Alec, I heard Izzy telling someone at work about your crush on your hot neighbour.’ With a raised eyebrow, Ethan takes a sip of his beer, eagerly awaiting Alec’s reply.

Clearing his throat, Alec nervously runs his fingers through his hair. ‘Ugh, yeah, no. Magnus and I are just friends.’ Studying the clear hesitation in Alec’s movements, Ethan snickers. ‘Whatever you say dude, let’s get out of here.’

Did he just call him dude? Alec definitely needs to get out of here, alone. Grabbing his jacket, Alec excuses his self to pay for the bill and give himself some time to think of a way to end the night here. For some reason Ethan seems more than eager to follow him, standing way to close for Alec’s liking. 

Alec manages to get outside before Ethan, sending Jace a quick SOS message, hoping to be saved from this awkward date. His phone buzzes in his pocket, taking it out to accept the call he realises is only a reply to his message.

_10.05pm - Jace:  Jace isn't here right now but if he was he would tell you to definitely use protection ;)_

He hates his siblings.

***

Another exhausting week and all Alec wanted to do was crawl into bed and fall into a deep slumber. Apparently Magnus did not believe in rest and recuperation for Alec found himself yet again at the mercy of the older man. Well, as merciful as making punch for your neighbour’s always ‘extravagant’ house parties. As much as he wished, Alec knew he couldn't avoid them. He wouldn't get much sleep anyway, Magnus’ parties always seemed to end at ridiculous hours in the morning. Plus the man was very persuasive, ‘come for a few hours’ and ‘one drink’ always turned into so much more.

‘Really Alexander, you're way too attractive to be frowning so much.’

Magnus sat in his favourite arm chair, one leg folded over the other, cocktail in hand, looking as radiant as ever.

‘Maybe you should invite that date of yours tonight, what was his name, Nathan?’. Playing with his earcuff, he dipped his head, slowly losing Alec’s gaze. Alec noticed his wavering tone, as if he was asking for more but hoping for less.

‘Ah yeah, his name is Ethan and let’s not do that’. Alec really wished Izzy would keep her mouth shut.

‘Why darling? Not _satisfying_ enough for you?’ Magnus shrugged one shoulder, waving his hand aimlessly in the air.

Alec squinted his eye at Magnus, noticing the way the man’s eyes flickered at the question. Resuming his task, Alec deepened his voice with a teasing tone, ‘Maybe I don't want you to get jealous.’

Scoffing, Magnus stood hastily, sashaying his way to the kitchen bench. Placing his glass on the counter, and sidling up to Alec, he leaned in and whispered in his ear, ‘Oh Alexander, you know I love a challenge.’ Turning his body, he grabbed the strawberry Alec was about to cut, looking Alec dead in the eye as he slowly bit into it and winked, before sauntering his way into his bedroom, adding an extra sway to his hips. 

Maybe this was the moment that Alec should admit that if history was to repeat itself, he definitely was not going to survive this party. 

***

The blaring music thumped through the walls of Magnus’ apartment. It always amazed Alec how many nameless faces flitted into Magnus’ apartment during his well known parties. He was aware of the man’s ability to captivate and entertain, but he could never understand how Magnus managed to attract such a diverse crowd.

Not that Alec was really paying attention to the random partygoers. How could he when he had to constantly avoid Ethan’s eagerness, hoping that his constant rejection of the man’s advances would eventually scare him off.

For the record, Alec definitely did not invite Ethan. He ‘somehow’ ended up here after Izzy ‘accidentally’ told him that Alec was going to be at his ‘hot neighbour’s’ party tonight. 

Ethan was nothing if not persistent. Maybe he has been spending way too much time around his sister. Fuck it, maybe he should just hook up with the man and get it over with. Shut everyone up for a while and hope that Izzy will ease off, as unlikely as he knew that would be. On the other hand he could tell how clingy the man would become regardless of his decision. 

Well apparently he didn't really have a decision in the matter, as he somehow had ended up in the corridor with his lips locked between Ethan's. Alec felt the desperation in Ethan’s kiss, he kissed how he talked, fast, rough and eager, as if his neediness could not be tamed. Pulling away slightly, Ethan whispered against Alec’s lips as he trailed a hand along Alec’s crotch, ’I’m going to make this mine.’ ‘There’s only one person this belongs to’ drifted across Alec’s mind.

Okaaaaayyy, what was that!? Alec really had to leave…now. Pushing against Ethan’s chest, he kept his hand in front of him to shield himself from Ethan’s further advances. ‘Yeah, look Ethan, this isn't going to work out.’ Alec glanced along the corridor to ensure their were no curious onlookers.

‘It’s that neighbour of yours, isn't it?! I should have known that you were just using me to make him jealous!!’

Wait, what. Jealous, Magnus? Well, Alec did playfully warn the man that he would use Ethan for that but he wasn’t really serious, was he?

‘You’re unbelievable!’. With that, Ethan stormed off down the corridor and out of Magnus’ door. Alec stood in shock, exhaling as he ran his hand through his messy hair.

‘Well at least that’s over.’ He murmured to himself. At least now he could maybe enjoy what was left of the party in peace. First however, he needed to find Izzy and make her pay for the mess that was Ethan.

Roaming around Magnus’ apartment aimlessly, he heard before he saw his sister in her true vivacious form. Of course he would find her in the kitchen, lining up shot glasses as Jace expertly poured tequila in one swift movement.

‘Alec!!!’. Izzy ran around the kitchen counter and threw herself into her brother’s arms. Izzy was definitely a touchy feely ‘Oprah’ kind of drunk, always the life of the party but also a ‘mother hen, let me fix all your problems’ type. 

‘Yeah, Izzy, we are NOT friends right now! You invited Ethan!? and told him about Magnus!?’ Alec held her by her shoulders, so as to steady his sister and hope he could get through to her in her drunken haze.

Shrugging her shoulders, Izzy loosely gazed at Alec’s agitated expression, ’Well durhhh, we all know how jealous Magnus gets when it comes to you! If you won’t go to him, maybe this way he’ll come to you.’

‘Ugh, Izzy! Really!? We…are…just…friends.’

Rolling her eyes, Izzy grabs her brother’s hand and drags him further into the kitchen. ‘Whatever big brother, we’ll figure that out later. Now, tequila!’

Groaning, Alec shook his head and sighed. His sister was so infuriating sometimes.

***

Positively buzzed from the random onslaught of shots, Alec navigated his way through the dense crowd. He was suddenly pulled into a warm body, as ring adorned hands circled around his hips. The familiar scent of sandalwood and spice alerted his senses as Magnus fit his body against Alec’s own.

‘Don’t think you're going anywhere without dancing with me.’

Any other night, Alec would be sure to avoid this situation. He was way beyond a state to be making appropriate decisions. Also by the way Magnus was looking at him, he could tell the man was beyond drunk. 

He’d been down this road with Magnus before, experienced the consequences of these decisions. It had been just under 2 years prior, when Magnus threw his first party that the two had kissed, a kiss that Magnus had humorously labelled as a ‘drunken mistake’. Still fresh from his break up with Raj, Alec could not afford the rejection of a silly crush on Magnus. Even as much as it hurt to hear Magnus so carelessly disregard their lip lock.

But tonight, with the way that Magnus was staring at him with that playful look, piercing kohl rimmed eyes and glistening lips, who was he to not indulge this man.

Before he had a chance to reply, Magnus had spun himself around, grinding against Alec as he threw his head back against his shoulder. The feel of Magnus’ cheek against his jaw as he slowly ground himself down to the beat of the music was far from lost on Alec. Magnus moved as if his every limb was drawing you in, tempting your body to relax and move along with him. It was like floating in a pool of desire, not worried about your destination but sure of your safe arrival.

Alec lifted his hands and placed them on Magnus’ stomach, tracing the contours of his hard abs. The haze of the alcohol was softening his ability to hide his attraction from this man. He felt Magnus’ hand on his thigh, trailing its way up towards his crotch before redirecting to his backside. 

Magnus spun himself back around to face Alec, slinking his arms around his neck as he fit his legs between Alec’s. He was lost in the sensation of Magnus’ crotch against his leg, as the man moved his knee between his legs and let out a soft groan. Alec dropped his head to Magnus’ shoulder, body going slack as he allowed himself to be engorged by every sound and touch that was uniquely Magnus.

He felt Magnus pull back slowly, staring into his lust blown eyes, Magnus untangled their bodies and dragged him through the crowd and towards his bedroom. Lost in his desires, Alec drifted behind the man in a trance. Deep down he knew he was entering a dangerous arena, but honestly his exhausting week and dealing with Ethan and Izzy, had left him too fatigued to care. Maybe it was time that he gave in, maybe he just needed to give it all a chance, maybe having your heart broken by Magnus Bane wasn't so bad.

Fingers intwined, Magnus dragged Alec to his bed. ‘Stay with me?’

He had no idea what he was doing. No idea why the pleading undertones of the man’s request was having such a commanding affect on him. No idea why he was now stripped down to his boxers, wrapped in silk sheets staring into those beautiful golden eyes.

He was speechless. Every moment had lead to this but every moment could not prepare him for the surge of emotions and feelings vibrating beneath his skin.

Calm and content, he gave into his enchantment, allowing his heavy lids to shut momentarily, silently hoping that this was real and not just another ‘drunken mistake’.

 

 


	2. I'd rather not.

Alec woke in a startle. He really needed to work out how to stop himself from having such vivid dreams. Dreams filled with soft silk sheets, warm caramel skin and piercing golden eyes. 

His head hurt way too much for the amount of sun that was glaring into his eyes. Groaning he made his way into the shower, brushing his teeth, in an attempt to cleanse himself of this horrible hangover. He was way too drunk last night for his own good. Too drunk to even remember anything past being yelled at by Ethan and drowning himself in shots. Yeah, he really needed to stop giving in to his sibling’s pressures.

Drying himself off, he threw on his most comfortable clothes. Sundays were for rest and relaxation and he was going to live up to that mantra with every fibre in his being.

He wondered where his siblings had ventured off to and thought about going to knock on Magnus’ door to see the remnants of the night. At some point he should probably go and help the man clean up whatever mess was left, that’s what friends did, right?

Recovering his phone from his bed, he scrolled through the stream of messages, eyes landing on one in particular.

_9.23am - Magnus: I’m sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Please forgive me._

He sat on his bed trying to rack his brain and figure out what Magnus had done to warrant such an apology. They had hardly fought in the past 2 years, airing things out before they escalated further. 

Perplexed and extremely hungry, he decided to knock on the man’s door and invite him for food. Maybe they could talk and he could find out just what had happened.

It took what felt like forever before Magnus’ door flung open and the man stood shell shocked.

‘Alex-ander. What a surprise. I didn’t think I’d see yo….’

Alec lifted his eyebrow at the man. They always hung out the morning after one of his parties. Such was tradition as they recounted drunken stories and cleaned up after the eager party goers. He was much to hungover to decipher this level of weirdness currently being displayed by the man infront of him. Magnus was an eccentric man, but this was far beyond their usual interactions.

‘Magnus, why are you being so weird? Are you still drunk? Let me in, I’m starving.’

The man stood to the side, awkwardly allowing Alec to pass. Alec did not miss the way his body leant away from Alec, as if he was attempting to shield himself from the man.

He noticed that Magnus’ apartment was spotless, only a few pizza boxes remained with nobody insight.

‘You cleaned up without me? and where is everyone?’ Alec flopped down onto the couch, long legs lazily hanging over the arm rest. 

Magnus stood stiffly before Alec, a calculated distance in front of him, hands clasped together against his chest. Almost as if he was eagerly but nervously awaiting some big revelation. 

Staring at Magnus’ unusual body language, Alec furrowed his brows. The usually confident and open man was acting extremely strange. Like he was being very careful of how he positioned himself whilst in Alec’s presence. It was unnerving and made him feel terribly unwelcome.

‘Okay Magnus, what’s going on? Did I - did I do something?’

Magnus still hadn't moved from his place before Alec, mouth agape as he played with the rings on his fingers, at a loss for words. Alec was really starting to worry now. He felt a bizarre tension between them, an awkwardness that he has never experienced between them before.

Blinking slowly, Magnus quickly brushed Alec off, with a wave of his hand. ‘Oh it’s nothing darling, just still recovering from last night.’ Magnus made the short trek in front of Alec to his drink cart, leaning down to pour a rather large glass of whiskey. Seriously how could the man ever think about alcohol right now? ’Enjoyed the party I hope?’. Turning, he tapped his finger restlessly against the rim of the glass, eyes blinking slowly.

Alec threw his head back with a groan. ‘Ugh, yeah, I just wish I could remember what gave me this horrible headache.’

Straightening his body, Alec noticed the tension in Magnus’ posture. ‘Ohh-hh. You don't remember last night?’

That strange tension from before slowly drifted back between them. Alec watched as Magnus made his way to his arm chair, cross his legs swiftly and sipping his whiskey as he raised his eyebrow at Alec. Alec turned his head from his stretched out position on the couch, squinting his eyes as he studied Magnus. Shaking his head, he retorted, ‘Not really much after kissing Ethan and Izzy forcing tequila upon me. At least I woke up in my own bed.’ Alec sighed in relief as he threw his arm over his face.

‘Right….that. Anyway darling, I must be going, many things to do. It is Sunday after all.’ Magnus placed his drink on the coffee table as he stood swiftly and clasped his hands in front of his body.

Peeling his arm away from his face, Alec stared at Magnus in amazement. Wait, wtf, was Magnus kicking him out? 

‘Are you kicking me out?’ What the hell Magnus.’

Sighing to himself, Magnus lazily pushed his hands in a sweeping motion towards the door. ‘Yes well it seems so.’

Not even the sound of Magnus’ door closing behind him was enough to erase his confusion. He was truly perplexed. What the hell was going on with Magnus?

***

Alec hadn't seen or heard from Magnus in over a week. He had knocked on his door numerous times with no answer. His text messages replies were infrequent and lacking, often only offering one word or extremely short answers. Although he knew that they were both very busy people, this was so unlike Magnus that it was making him increasingly apprehensive. Never had they gone more than a few days without seeing each other, even if it was for a quick chat or a coffee. It was as if the man was actively avoiding his presence. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had done something to offend the man and that Magnus truly couldn't even be bothered to reconcile their difference. 

The familiar apartment door swung open clumsily. Much to Alec's dismay, he was greeted by a considerably short, curly haired man dressed in what seemed like teenage Star Wars pyjamas.

‘May the forth be wi….’

‘Not now Simon, where’s Izzy.’ Alec usually had a limited time for his future brother in law’s antics but his current agitation afforded him none. Regardless, he was more than glad that Izzy and Jace had both decided to buy places within the same apartment complex as him. He loved that they were all at each other’s door step. 

Pacing into his sister’s apartment, he glanced around, eyes darting rapidly.

‘She ugh…she went…tt…to.’ The man looked at Alec with wide eyes. Alec knew he was usually afraid of him but there was something he wasn't telling him and Alec couldn't deal with him right now.

‘Simon. I’m not in the mood for your games. Tell me where my sister is.’ Alec moved to begin searching the apartment, being quickly stopped by Simon’s stuttering voice.

‘Wa-wait! She’s not here!’

Alec turned towards Simon, fighting every nerve in his body to stay calm and composed. ‘Okay, Simon, listen..’ Stalking towards the man, he was stopped by the creaking of a slowly opened apartment door.

‘Alec. What are you doing here?’. Izzy glanced back into the apartment hallway worriedly, quickly shuffling into her apartment and speedily closing the door.

‘What do you mean, what am I doing here? Am I not allowed here? and what is with you all being so damn weird? First, Magnus, now the both of you.’ Alec crossed his arms as he stood watching the two of them, eyeing each other suspiciously.

Lifting his finger and he pointed accusingly between his sister and her fiancé. ’Somebody needs to start talking.’ He stood back, rigid posture, face schooled with a stern expression, waiting for some sort of explanation for their behaviour.

‘Um...Simon, give us a minute.’ Izzy looked towards Simon, communicating silently with their eyes he nodded quickly and pandered off to their shared room. Sighing quietly, she placed her bag on the counter, gesturing to her brother, ‘Alec, come, sit down.’

Feeling slightly frustrated, Alec looked toward his anxious sister, ‘Iz, please.’ Hoping his pleading tone would afford him long awaited answers, he slunk defeatedly into her couch.

Exhaling, Izzy sat down next to her brother, placing her hand on his shoulder, undeniable rigidity in her voice. ’Alec, you need to talk to Magnus.’ 

‘Iz, listen. I have no idea what’s going on. He disappears on me for the whole week acting all distant. Now you and Simon are too. Just tell me what the fuck happened!?’ Throwing his hands out in frustration, Alec jumps up from his position on her couch, pacing in front of his sister. ‘Honestly, I’m sick of being ignored and lied to. Why the hell can’t one of you just talk to me. Seriously!?’

Izzy stood up from the couch, placing herself in front of her brother, stopping him in his tracks.

‘Hermano, please, go see him.’ 

Alec took a moment to study his sister, attempting to decipher the joy yet sorrow in her large brown eyes.

Whatever was going on, he wanted, no he _needed_ to see Magnus. Right now, however, he was way to wound up to face the man.

‘Iz, I can’t. Not right now. I just, I need to…’

‘…calm down. Yes, I definitely think you need a level head for his.’

If Izzy thought her words were doing anything to sooth the tempest of nerves vibrating within Alec, she was mistaken. He felt nothing but worried, unsure and on the verge of breaking down. He needed to clear his head, work out this anxiety that had suddenly creeped up from deep within him and he knew just the person to help with that.

***

‘You’re slow on your right hook. I always thought you favoured that side, which can only mean somethings putting you off balance.’

Alec glanced at the man holding the boxing pads. He had been sparring for over an hour, sweat dripping from every pore, sudden exhaustion in his body. Anything he could do to push away the unease he has been feeling since last weekend.

‘I’ve just had a lot going on. My brain’s a real mess right now.’ Alec punched the lower pad, as the trainer moved the pads in front of his body, signalling the end of their session.

Alec had been training with for Luke many years now. Coming here had always been a space for him to release the tensions of the outside world. The physical exertion giving him a welcome distraction and release from the pressures of his work and personal life.

‘Something tells me this is more than just a work thing.’ Luke crossed his arms as he threw a bottle of water towards Alec.

‘I wish it was just a work thing. Something’s going on and I have no idea what it is.’ Alec sunk down on the mat, hands and legs spread out, attempting to even out his breath.

‘So talk to me. Let’s work it out.’

Luke had always been a steady presence in his life. After the initial shock of finding out about his father’s indiscretions, Luke had stuck by his mother during the messy divorce. Eventually they had grown closer and now were very obviously in love. Although closer to Alec’s age, he always saw Luke as more of a mentor than a father figure. His calm and serene nature afforded them many deep and profound conversations.

‘Magnus has been avoiding me all week and now Izzy is being all weird about it.’ Head in his hands, Alec slowly rubbed his temples.

‘Okay, so did something happen for him to stop talking to you?’ Luke crouched down onto the balls of his feet to level himself with Alec. 

Alec raised his head, shaking it, squirting water from his drink bottle onto his face. ‘I have no idea, we were fine and then the party and then the next morning…..oh fuck, the party.’

Closing his eyes, Alec thought hard, trying to remember whatever he could from that night. He briefly remembered dancing a bit too closely with Magnus, but beyond that he woke up alone and in his own bed. He was very careful not to make any stupid decisions, Magnus’ parties had a reputation for less than favourable memories.

Chuckling, Luke placed a hand on his shoulder. ‘Alcohol has a funny way of showing us what we truly desire. It seems like you need to talk to Magnus.’

Alec pushed a hand over his face, wiping his sweat covered hand over his shirt. His stomach doing a flip at the realisation that he couldn't put off the inevitable. He really just needed to talk to Magnus.

***

It wasn't that he was avoiding talking to Magnus. It was just that he had this strange feeling that everything was going to change after he did. He had meant to call Magnus after his session with Luke but he had been sucked into a busy period at work and genuinely didn't have the time.

After 2 weeks of not seeing or hearing from the man, Alec really did miss him. Not in a way that he felt like he always needed to be around him but more he missed his enthusiastic yet tranquil nature. It was the two extremes that had initially drawn him so closely to his mysterious neighbour. The first person he met when he moved in and the only person to constantly ensure he felt comfortable and settled in. Before Izzy and Jace moved in, Magnus was all he had. 

Before their drunken kiss at the first party of Magnus’, they had an easy but exciting friendship. Those initial stages where you are learning about each other and eager to experience new things together. Where their are no hesitations and you are free to make impulsive decisions together, with the hope of discovering something unique and captivating. Whether drawing connections between shared preferences, like their mutual hate of pineapple on pizza or learning of their past loves. All in an effort to develop something more, more than just a casual association, more than just two people who seem to be in the same places, at the same times. 

He truly was grateful for their diverse group of friends. Between his siblings and their partners and Magnus’ friends, they had quickly developed a comfortable network of friends. In many ways, he and Magnus were the primary link within the group.

After that night however, it had never really been the same.

Alec could not deny that he has always had an attraction to Magnus. He had spent the better part of 2 years evading any indication of a mutual interest. The fear of rejection was just too much for him to handle at the time. Ultimately over the course of their friendship, Alec has learnt how to conceal his feelings to a point where even he doesn't know where they're buried.

He knows they are there though. He knows that eventually they will get sick of being constantly neglected. The fear of losing Magnus’ friendship and creating conflict between their friends, however was much too profound for him to ever consider taking the risk of exploring something more between them.

He needed this man in his life. This man that supported him, cared for him and comforted him. A man that made him feel truly desired but to some degree undoubtedly overlooked. A part of Alec always wished that he was the one Magnus would take legitimate interest in, but for more than just one night of passion. He never wanted to just be another name on Magnus Bane’s list of lovers, he wanted to be _his_ lover, period.

That, _that_ was what scared him most. The desire that underlined this all. The want to belong and be cherished by someone as absolute as Magnus Bane. The need and undeniable ache to be loved by Magnus Bane.

 


	3. You need to talk.

 

It was another week before Alec saw Magnus again. He had messaged him apologising for his absence, putting it down to a heavy workload and frequent nights spent sleeping at his office. Alec knew Magnus worked hard, maintaining an extremely well known and successful event planning business in New York was no easy task. 

They had promised to see each other at their weekly Friday night drinks with the rest of their friends. Alec hoped that seeing the man would alleviate his worries and help them put behind whatever awkwardness the past 3 weeks has brought.

They had all agreed to meet for dinner with their friends at 8pm. It was now 9,47pm, they had all eaten their meals and Magnus was still nowhere to be seen. Alec felt a slight unrest at Magnus’ tardiness, he was undoubtedly more excited to see him then he would admit.

For the record, Alec had no idea how he had ended up sitting next to Simon, listening to him blabber about his and Izzy’s latest cosplay costumes. To be quite honest, he had spaced out more than an hour ago, anxiously awaiting the arrival of that angelic face.

‘So Alec, where’s your boyfriend? Too busy to grace us with his presence tonight?’

Alec raised his head at the sarcastic edge in Raphael’s tone. The man was one of the grumpiest men he had ever met. For some reason however, Alec actually found it endearing. Although initially they once clashed, he eventually came to understand the man’s stand offish behaviour, finding a comfort in his bluntness.

‘What? I don’t…’ He was cut off mid sentence as his eyes focused on the swinging open of the door behind Raphael.

‘Miss me darlings?’ 

Alec felt a jolt of electricity surge up his spine at the teasing nature of Magnus’ tone. The man somehow had the ability to breathe seduction into the most simple of phrases. It was as if words were specially made for him, to be caressed and soothed by his tongue, to float and hug his lips and collide effortlessly within your ears.

Sauntering over to the table, Alec tracked as the many chains around the man’s neck extravagantly moved against his broad chest, as if under his audacious command. As expected, his eyes perfectly rimmed, glitter dusted along his cheek bones, highlighting the entrancing sparkle in his golden eyes. 

Alec was truly mesmerised. It wasn't that he had forgotten how attractive the man was, but after the strangeness of the past few weeks, Magnus’ zealous manner was revivifying.

Gliding his way into the vacant seat across from Alec, he relaxed against the chair, arm slung behind Raphael, as if waiting to be doted upon.

Alec did not know what he did to deserve such a beautiful display of the human anatomy. His previous anxiety was replaced with a different kind of perplexity. A strange feeling of unfamiliarity, like a subtle shift has occurred, one that can be unconsciously felt but not truly seen.

Catching his wandering eyes, Magnus shifted his attention to Alec’s conflicted expression. Clicking his tongue, he nonchalantly tilted his head to the side. ’Alexander dear, long time so see. Life been treating you well, mm?’

Magnus raised his eyebrows, slight annoyance in his tone. It almost seemed to Alec as if he was making pleasantries, being forced to be in his presence, bothered by his existence.

Clearing his throat, Alec furrowed his brows, ‘Um, yeah thanks. You been good?’

Magnus replied with a mediocre ‘mmMM’, flicking his fingers out as he reached for his awaiting cocktail. ‘You know how it is, sometimes life takes you to places you least expect.’

Turning his head, Magnus takes a careful sip of his drink. Elongating his neck and swallowing leisurely. His gaze falls back to Alec’s, tracking around his face, as if trying to memorise every inch of him.

Before he can continue the conversation, Jace is smacking Alec wildly on the shoulder. Glancing at Magnus before shifting his eyes back to Alec, his face quickly flickers from concern to excitement, whispering loudly in Alec’s ear, ’Ready to get this party started? Let’s go!!!’

All too soon Alec is dragged out of the restaurant and onto the icy sidewalk. Izzy strutting up behind him to fit her arm around his shoulder, pulling him down by his neck so that she can kiss him on the cheek.

‘Love you big bro.’ She flashes him a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, as she pulls him in close and gently rubs his lower back.

As they walk towards their regular bar, Alec slows his pace to capture the rest of the group following behind them. He senses before he hears Magnus’ boisterous laugh, devouring its very existence, as it resonates through his every pore. Alec momentarily closes his eyes, basking in the beautiful sound that evokes the most serene of feelings deep within him. Something inside him yearns to be the reason those captivating and vibrant noises are flowing from that exquisite mouth. Those hypnotising waves of joy, that ebb and flow between a myriad of different octaves before reaching their highest peak and crescendoing into a pool of pure ecstasy. Alec imagines the way that Magnus’ moist lips part, as he throws his arm out to touch the source of his laughter, always using his body to connect with others. Magnus embodies that very essence of euphoria, an intoxication yet solace, an indulgence of the artistry of the human form. 

To his annoyance, he is quickly brought out of his stupor by a tight grip around his forearm. 

‘Darling, we’re here, you okay?’ Magnus’ concerned eyes bore into Alec’s as his thumbs rubs gently against Alec’s heated skin. With a short nod, he allows himself to be dragged through the door towards their already rowdy friends.

‘I’m just..going to use the restroom.’ Alec slinks out of Magnus’ grasp before he has a chance to protest. He knew if he had allowed himself to dwell any longer he would be too entrapped to function properly. It’s been a long time since he has been reduced to a stuttering mess by Magnus, but on the odd occasion the man says or does something that truly shocks him into submission.

Like right in this moment, as he drives Alec crazy by languidly dragging his dexterous fingers along the protruding veins of his forearm, glancing over the cocktail menu.

Magnus has always been brazen in his flirtations with Alec. Even after the events of their first intimate moment in the early stages of their budding friendship. It has become a sort of personal challenge of Magnus’ to make the man blush beyond comprehension. The only thing that Alec could do to counteract his advances was play the game just as expertly. Like an endless contest between two willing participants, no desire to be crowned a winner but content to indulge in the mutual competition. 

These days however, Magnus’ flirtations have become less outlandish and more gentle, stroking tenderly at his already rupturing heart. The older man seems to seamlessly glide between the brief moments of vulnerability that flash before his eyes, to resurrecting that confident facade that his many lesser known associates recognise and love.

Splashing water on his face to bring some relief to his hot skin, Alec shakes out his hands, loosening his arms, trying to clear his the throbbing in his head.

What game is Magnus playing at? Why does it feel like his advances are becoming increasingly more intense? Lingering touches and heated glances, constantly retracting himself before Alec has a chance to decipher the transition in the man. Each time tearing himself away, as if being burnt by an eternal flame.

Alec can not, _will not_ , never ever wants to deny Magnus’ touch. It has beyond doubt become something he fervently craves. He honestly wants to ask for more, wants to throw caution to the wind and simply just take more. But what happens if it isn't given freely? What happens if those touches aren’t meant for just him? What if they’re simply Magnus’ way of exhibiting his general affections towards his many acquaintances?

With deep breaths, takes his time Alec approaching Magnus at the bar. Reaching out, their fingers brush as he takes the outstretched glass of whiskey the man dangles in front of his body. Alec pauses momentarily, steading himself on the back of Magnus stool, as waves of heat emanate from Magnus’ finger tips onto his skin. Bracing himself, Alec watches at Magnus idly rubs his forefinger around the edge of the glass, before raising his glass between them and squinting his eyes in mirth. 

‘To friendship’. 

Alec frowns at the hesitation in Magnus’ eyes as they clink their glasses together. A vagueness wafts in the void between them that puzzles Alec. Magnus runs his hands down the front of his pants, nervously straightening out the creases.

‘Magnus, listen. You don't have to do this.’ Alec manouver’s himself so that he is perched on the edge of the bar stool next to Magnus, forearm leaning against the bar as his traces the outline of Magnus’ exquisite profile.

Magnus slightly turns his head towards Alec, tongue darting out to capture the drop of whiskey that has fallen listlessly against his full lower lip. ’I rarely do things that don’t pleasure me.’ Alec tracks the movement of his tongue, bewitched by the way it slyly curls against his lips. Those plump lips, those moist and inviting lips, the feel of those lips that have haunted his wavering thoughts; the ultimate sin and temptation. Every hair on Alec’s body stands at attention, as if trained to react to Magnus’ every movement. By now he wonders how he’s been able to control other parts of his body from standing at full attention. It’s all second nature to him now, eternally controlling his urges against Magnus’ sensuality.

Pushing his stool back, Magnus swings his long limbs towards Alec, knees brushing gently against his, as he makes to stand. Turning rapidly, he sliding his hand comfortably into Alec’s, as he drags him away from the bar, leading him back to their group of friends.

Alec doesn't quite realise it yet but unquestionably wherever Magnus leads, he surely will follow.

***

Over the next few weeks Magnus becomes a frequent presence in Alec’s life. Almost every night after work, Alec finds a spirited Magnus at his door. Indulging in many home cooked meals together, Magnus shares his vast array of embarrassing and captivating stories of his life and travels. Alec is a fool for the velvety caress of Magnus’ voice, as his gestures wildly, reenacting his many captivating experiences, entrapping Alec in his passionate recounts. Regardless of whether he has heard some of the stories before, he is all too happy to be merely a spectator to the man’s effervescent manner. 

On the odd occasion that Magnus has to a work function, Alec happily accepts Magnus’ cat, Chairman Meow, as his temporary roommate. The nights where he misses the vibrant man’s presence, he spends curled up watching movies, stroking the Chairman as he dozes into a lazily slumber. Having a piece of Magnus with him is a small comfort that he gladly affords himself.

Alec is frequently captured by the domesticity of the recent development in their friendship They’ve always spend a lot of time together but never has it felt this _intimate._ Never has he felt so…right.

He can not remember the last time he was submerging amongst large crowds, overflowing drinks and eager bodies grinding until early hours of the morning in Magnus’ apartment. The man retorting that he ‘much prefers good company over a raging hangover any day.’

Alec welcomes the discovery of this new side of Magnus.  Who is he to complain if the man wants to spend more time with him then with people who care only for his reputation? 

The slamming open of his bedroom door almost has Alec jumping out of bed and through the window. ‘JACE WTF!’

Alec pulls the sheets over his naked torso, feeling for his boxers which have been discarded somewhere, probably tangled within his sheets.

Jace stands in the doorway with his hands on his hips, knowing smirking on his face. ‘How frequently do you do this?’ He snickers, gesturing in front of him, ‘You know, wake up touching yourself to thoughts of Magnus?’

Hiding his blush under his pillow, Alec fails to hide his morning erection under his sheets with his free hand. ‘Jace, I’m giving you 10 seconds to get the fuck out or I’m telling everyone about your fear of....’

It takes not even a second for his door to close firmly, Jace instantaneously disappearing. Alec really needs to take back those spare keys he gave to his siblings. They clearly don't understand what ‘for emergency purposes’ really means.

Right, he really needs to have a shower. Preferably an extremely cold shower, one that is going to numb his body and erode the heat vibrating under his skin. He’s just been busy okay, he hasn’t had time to relieve his sexual frustrations. What with work and spending time with Magnus, he’s hardly had motivation to find a willing companion for the night. To be honest, he's not even sure that he really even wants that anymore. Maybe he wants more than that? More than just ‘right now’. More than just a moment of pleasure to be erased by the next. Maybe he wants it to stay, to be something he wakes up to, to be a constant in his busy life. Maybe he’s found…

‘Izzy!! Why is my pancake the same colour as Alec’s hair!!’

Alec finds Jace scolding his sister in the kitchen. ‘I thought we made it a golden rule that you only experiment with food in your own kitchen.’ Alec strolls into his kitchen, hair dripping from the freezing cold shower, teasing his sister.

‘I just wanted to do something nice for you guys!’. Izzy quips, crossing her batter covered hands as the pouts. Switching off the gas, she discards the burnt remnants of their breakfast in the trash. 

‘Maybe we should just order take out.’ Izzy disappears into the lounge room as Jace turns his attention on Alec. ‘So, bro, how’s things? Life? Finally admitted your feelings for Magnus yet?’

Grunting, Alec throws his half eaten apple across the corridor at his brother. ‘Honestly Jace, I am going to end you. There is **nothing** and well never ever be anything between Magnus and I. We are just friends!!’

Alec stares his brother down, fury and annoyance emanating from his every gesture. He adjusts his gaze, following Jace’s shocked expression to the other side of the kitchen, as his brother’s awkwardly swings his jaw. ‘Magnus! So good to see you, we were just talking about you.’

‘Clearly.’

The disappointment in Magnus’ tone was subtle, but to someone who has spent majority of his time learning the man’s quirks, it is unmistakeable. Alec watches in embarrassment as Magnus impetuously unpacks the bag of pastries and coffee he had brought for the siblings. He quickly dusts his hands, taking the furthest seat from Alec, avoiding his glare. 

Alec can feel the tension and awkwardness that he thought they have long worked through, make a sudden reappearance. This time however it felt different. The constant glances between Jace and Izzy as they monitored Magnus were making him increasing uncomfortable and uneasy. What did they know about the man that he didn’t?

The communal breakfast continues with minimal conversation, topics quickly being discarded just as soon as they are addressed. Without lingering, Magnus bids them farewell, mentioning he has a big event he is working on that requires his ‘full and undivided’ attention. With a brief nod he leaves, tension apparent in his shoulders as he paces out of the apartment, ignoring Alec.

Izzy huffs, pushing the remains of her pastry away from her as she flashes Alec a stern questioning glare, ‘Just friends huh? You really need to stop lying to yourself Alec.’

Sliding out of his chair, Jace pats Alec on the back as he follows Izzy out the door, leaving Alec to ponder the events of the morning. ‘Ah yeah buddy, I think it’s about time you seriously spoke to Magnus.’

Talk to Magnus? All he does is talk to Magnus?! There isn't a day that goes by where he doesn't hear from his fascinating neighbour. 

How did the conversation transition from them teasing him about his friendship with Magnus to questioning whether his friendship with Magnus even existed at all? Of course they were friends, maybe even best friends. Magnus was the closest thing Alec had to a best friend really, apart from Izzy and Jace, he really didn't confide anyone else.

Slamming his eyes shut as he furrows his brow, Alec vigorously rubs his temples, attempting to sooth away the erratic thumping reverberating throughout his head. He struggles to erase the sullen look that Magnus wore throughout breakfast, a demeanour that speaks of deceit and misery, a disposition that he can not accurately place against Magnus’ usual sanguine persona.

 If something distressing had happened to Magnus, surely he would confide in him, right? 

 This horrifying feeling of dread that he was brewing inside him was causing a sudden panic to arise within. He felt as if he was blind to his own senses, groping aimlessly in the dark, searching for a piece of himself that was constantly developing, concealed, slightly out of reach. Quite frankly it frustrated him, he wasn’t some immature child who couldn't handle the reality of the situation. He honestly felt betrayed, how dare they all deny him access to the source of his suffering. Why was everyone so cautious around Magnus these days? So rapidly turning a stoic eye to Alec anytime Magnus expressed the subtlest of discomfort. Accusing glances, as if he was the reason for the fluctuations in the man’s behaviours.

The whole situation really didn't make any sense to Alec. All he had done was befriend the man, spend his spare time building a formidable connection with him, care for him in whatever way he would allow him to. 

Was it all too much? Too suffocating for him? Was Alec too clingy for the man’s liking? Did he say too much? Was he too forceful? Did Magnus know? Shiiiiittttt.

Rubbing his face vigorously as he inhaled sharply, he grabbed his phone and keys before swiftly exiting his apartment, ’Fuck it, I really need to talk to Magnus.’

 


	4. Words like daggers.

‘Hey Alec.’

Alec spun around speedily, stumbling as he lost his footing on the hardwood floors, falling back against the wall. ‘Catarina…Cat… Hey.’

He definitely wasn’t in the mood for idle chit chat, the urge to quell this uneasiness spurring his erratic behaviour. He hoped she was in the hallway in departure from Magnus’ apartment, he really needed to seize Magnus’ unaccompanied presence. 

‘He’s not here Alec.’ She approached him with caution, arms hugging her body lightly as she studied his face with furrowed brows.  The gentleness in her eyes partially alleviating his internal unrest. ‘I’m just here to get Chairman.’

Straightening his body as he widened his eyes in surprise, Alec turned his head questioningly, mouth slightly agape. ‘Is-is ugh everything okay? Is Magnus okay? Can I do anything?’ Alec stuttered out hurriedly, searching his brain for possible scenarios for Magnus’ absence.

‘Yeah, ah, look Alec. Magnus had to go away for a few days, some complicated work situation. He told me to tell you he’ll speak to you soon.’ Cat hugged her arms closer to her body, unsure of the reaction she should anticipate from the clearly frustrated man.

‘Sorry, What!?’ Pushing off the wall promptly, Alec threw out his arms in outrage in the space between them. His eyes bore into Cat’s accusingly, knowing she was not to blame but a small part of him angry that she was keeping him from Magnus. 

 Cat shuffled back slightly, clearly startled by the unusual outburst of the usually composed man. 

 Noticing the impact of his abnormal outpouring of frustration, Alec momentarily shut his eyes, attempting to slow his erratically beating heart. ’Cat, no, I mean…I’m sorry, I just - I really need to speak to him.’ Alec hoped his apologetic tone would be sufficient enough to remedy the guilt coursing through his veins at his sudden eruption of dissatisfaction.

‘What so you can get drunk, have your way with him then pretend like nothing happened!? Pathetic.’

Alec felt the words penetrate right through his chest, narrowly missing his wildly beating heart. He glanced behind Cat as a clearly infuriated Raphael marched towards them, agitation dripping from his every gesture. The man stood rigidly next to Cat, hands balled into tight fists, as he crossed his arms roughly across his chest, glaring at Alec with eyes firm and full of hatred.

‘I should have known you were no good for Magnus from the start!’ With a puffed out chest, Raphael made a move towards Alec, dipping his head forward in a show of his dominance. The man’s erratic breathing and sweat drenched clothing, a clear sign of his rush to come to Magnus’ aid. Before he had a chance to reach him, Cat flung her hand across his chest. ‘Raph, enough! Magnus wouldn't want this.’

The fire blazing in Raphael’s eyes told vivid tales of animosity and resentment, of late night phone calls and tear stained shoulders. He gripped Cat’s arm, inhaling and exhaling deeply, attempting to steady himself.

Alec stood speechless, unsure of how to console his extremely irate friend but also attempting to comprehend his ostentatious accusations. Nothing remotely intimate had happened between him and Mangus in over 2 years, they had all promised to respect his and Magnus’ decision to remain friends after their brief drunken display of affection. 

It would be ridiculous to deny his and Magnus’ close companionship, not only do they live in such close quarters but they have developed such a strong bond that it is undeniable they hold special places in each other’s lives. Many times they have been mistaken as lovers when interacting in public places, but Alec would so carelessly brush off any indication of a further connection between the two. He wouldn't pretend that he didn't care for the man deeply, maybe even a more profound of a devotion then he could rationalise. 

Honestly, what business does Raphael have to resurrect what he and Magnus had mutually agreed to forget? Why was he effectively trying to burst this comfortable bubble that he and Magnus had created for themselves? Alec always knew the man was fiercely protective of the Magnus, after 15 years of friendship, Raphael had been like a brother to Magnus, supported him through his troubling upbringing. He never knew Raphael harboured such negative feelings towards their friendship, it was as if Alec was some sort of a threat to him.

‘What’s going on here?’ 

A recognisable and comforting hand grasped around Alec’s wrist, as he whipped his head around staring into his sister’s concerned eyes.

‘We were just leaving.’  Cat’s apologetic eyes fluttering as she gave Alec a quick nod, dragging Raphael towards the door of Magnus’ apartment. Alec watched as the man let out a loud huff, turning rapidly, swinging his head back to death stare Alec in his retreat.

Being dragged backwards by two firm hands pulling at his waist Alec unconsciously exhaled tentatively. Stuck in a state of confusion and nausea, he allowed Izzy to guide him back towards his own apartment door. Prying his keys from his fingers, she hauled him into his lounge room, pushing his limp body against the back of his couch. 

Hanging his head, Alec drew his hands to the back of his neck, expanding his chest, feeling the signs of an oncoming anxiety attack. He felt a deep inner turmoil coursing through his veins, forcing waves of untameable heat against his skin. 

Izzy moved herself between Alec’s feet, placing her hands on her brother’s arms, ducking her head to capture some form of eye contact. Sensing his brother’s avoidance of her curious eyes, she extracted her phone from her jacket pocket, sending off a quick message as she made her way to the kitchen.

Conscious of his sporadic breaths, Alec braced his hands off the back of the couch, eyes glazed over as he tried to make sense of his current predicament. Accepting the glass of water pushed towards him, he raised his head slowly, forcing himself to be confronted by his sister’s gaze.

‘Alec, I love you, I’ve been patient and haven't tried to interfere, but this ends now.’

With her phone to her ear, Izzy watched as her brother sips lazily at the water, before placing the half drunk glass on the floor. Once the call she had placed connects to the recipient, she placed her phone against his ear, guiding his hand to take possession of the device.

‘He-hello?’

Alec’s heart dropped, eyes slightly moistening as he hears the melancholy tone of that familiar voice that he has been anxious to hear.

‘Magnus?’ Staring in shock at his sister, Izzy grabbed his shaking hand between her own. ’Where are you? Are you okay?’ Alec stuttered out the questions before he has a chance to take a breath, eager for his friend’s affirmations.

Sighing, Magnus’ dejected voice resonated through the phone, ’Alec I’m so sorry. It was wrong of me to run away from my problems. I should have talked to you.’

Standing upright abruptly from Magnus’ admission, Alec began to pace in front of Izzy, hands gesturing wildly as he talks. It wasn't lost on him that the man wasn’t referring to him by his full name as he also has, preferring to use his nickname used by so many others. It adds an element of concern to Alec’s already prominent unrest. Magnus is the only person he allows to refer to him by his birth name, he somehow manages to bring light to a name which was once used to scold and belittle him. It’s the way that Magnus purrs as the name rolls so elegantly off his tongue as he worships every syllable in reverence. Magnus breathes life into the vowels and consonants of his name, elevating them from merely just a function of language to a passage towards veneration. The emphasis Magnus places on his name demands a certain intimacy and exclusivity between them. Right now however, Magnus’ insistence on employing his usual nickname speaks volumes towards his current disposition.

’Magnus, what are you running from? What problems? Cat said…’

Cutting him off without hesitation, Magnus launches into a hurried explanation, ‘Listen Alec, I don't think…no, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t just be around you and pretend that we..I mean, that you and I.’ Letting out a shaky breath, Magnus pauses momentarily, gathering his thoughts. ‘You’re just everything and you deserve to be so happy and to find someone who is going to love you with all that they have. I’m so glad I met you and we shared this time together. You have been nothing but an amazing friend and neighbour who I will forever cherish and keep close to my heart. I want you to have nothing but blessings in your life and maybe I’m..maybe I’m just holding you back from that.’

Alec felt his knees buckle as he lifted an unsteady hand to his forehead, moping at the sweat  gathering on his brow. ‘Magnus, what - what are you saying?’ He didn't realise his whole body was shaking until he felt warm arms wrap around his waist, as Izzy rested her head against his sternum.

‘When I get back, I’m moving out. I’m sorry.’

With that, the line went dead.

***

trepidation could not even scrap the surface of the turbulence of emotions vibrating within Alec as he stood stiffly in his sister’s firm embrace. Staring blankly ahead, he slid Izzy’s phone away from his face, slowly wiping at the moisture building in the corners of his eyes. The weight of Magnus’ words dragging him down as he slowly pushed away from Izzy, sinking to his knees, letting out a soft whimper as he buried his face into his hands. Exhaling, he softly whispered against his palms, ’Iz, he’s gone.’ 

His sister dropped to her knees, mirroring her brother’s stance as she leant in and rested her forehead gently against his. ‘No he’s not, he’s right here.’ She weaved her right hand around his arms, spreading it gracefully over his heart, lifting his chin so that she could stare into his conflicted eyes. ‘You can’t lose what lives inside of you.’ She smiled weakly, eyes crinkling the at the corners, as her thumb rubbing comfortingly over his chest.

Alec braced his hands against her forearm, slamming his eyes shut as waves of sorrow and anguish crashed into him. It pained him greatly that his friend was too scared to confide in him about his inner turmoils. It troubled him that in some way, that in some part he was the source of his friend’s misery. Magnus’ words vibrated around his head, hold him back? Sometimes Magnus was the only reason he was able to move forward, knowing that whatever happened in his life, he would always have the commanding strength and grace of the man to steady him. The man was like an inferno, blazing into his life and setting fire to his heart.

Without evening knowing it, Magnus had been a catalyst behind the evolution of his now confident and content demeanour. He was like a refuge, an anchor in times of great desire. When Alec broke up with Raj, Magnus dedicated their time together to ensuring Alec didn't close himself off, like he was so accustomed to. In times when he felt lost and afraid the very touch of the man’s finger tips were enough to guide you to salvation. He made him want to be better, to be a better brother, a better friend, to reach the highest version of himself. He made him feel alive, free, connected to a greater purpose than simply existing. Those soulful almond shaped eyes, that soft glistening caramel skin, that intensely passionate and charmingly benevolent heart. He just couldn't lose that, couldn't lose _him_. 

Hastily jumping to his feet, Alec raced out the door, banging on Magnus’ apartment door, hoping his friends were still inside.

‘Alec, what the hell?’ Cat stood in the door frame, Chairman slung over her arm, eyes wide in astonishment.

‘Cat, please, please, I have to see him. Please, I need to. I..I can’t lose him.’ Breathing heavily, he put his hands behind his head to catch his sporadic breaths, closing his eyes in earnest, hoping for his desperation will prove his honesty.

Alec heard his sister’s voice echo behind him as she injected into the conversation, ‘Cat, please, I know you know where he is.’

Darting her eyes between the brother and sister, Cat moved her index and fore fingers to rub at the bridge the bridge of her nose, sighing defeatedly.

‘He’s at the Four Seasons in Toronto. Shit, he's going to kill me.’

Placing a steady hand on her shoulder, Alec mouthed a quiet ‘thank you’ before dashing back through his apartment doors and into his bedroom.

He needed to see Magnus, needed to touch and feel his firm body, needed to hear the beautiful melody of his voice. He knew this deep unease that was constricting his heart could not be alleviated without him. 

There was no way he was losing this man.

***

‘Mr Bane is currently occupying the penthouse suite but he has requested no visitors for the remainder of his stay. I’m sorry Sir.’ 

The concierge at the hotel tipped his head apologetically, hands clasped behind his back. Alec squinted his eyes in frustration, placing one hand on the desk to calm himself as he pursed his lips. 

‘Okay, listen Roger. I really don't have time for this right now. I need to see Magnus urgently. I’m sure if you call his room, he will be more than willing to grant me access.’

Alec attempted to steady his wavering tone, internally doubting his confidence that Magnus had any desire to be in his presence. The man sounded beyond defeat over the phone, to a point of complete exhaustion. Alec couldn't lie to himself, he was undoubtedly worried about whether the man would even consider changing his mind about moving out. 

The thought of losing Magnus’ physical proximity, was enough to spur Alec into desperate action. He hated forcing people’s hands, hated using his well known and respected surname name to blackmail and instil fear into people. It was something his father had used against him in his youth to coerce him into repressing his sexuality and he vowed never to take any likeness to the tyranny of the man. If not for his siblings, repressing who he was would have been something he would have gladly done, if only to please his father and to maintain the ‘prestige’ of the Lightwood name. A fact that was the catalyst behind the darkness and deceit that plagued and brought him many sorrows in his younger years. 

Before he had a chance to launch into his tirade he felt a sharp tapping on his shoulder. As he turned, he took in the soft and gentle flowing curls that framed an exactly unimpressed and agitated expression. Alec had only met Maia once but had heard enough about her persona to be slightly terrified of the sure confrontation that was to follow.

‘You must be Alec, follow me.’

Slightly surprised at the calmness in her commands and too frustrated to even question the intentions of the adamant woman, Alec followed her through the lobby and into an awaiting elevator. Maia tapped her access card against a sensor, before selecting the top floor and taking a step back towards the adjacent wall. She crossed her arms across her chest, leaning back against the railing, resting her head against the mirrored panels that adorned the private elevator.

Breathing out steadily through her nose, she turned her gaze on Alec, narrowing her sharp and piercing eyes. ’You’re lucky Cat likes you. I don't like people messing with Magnus. So make this good or I’ll make good on that promise I made to you over a year ago. Remember Alec, I forget nothing.’

 

Alec knew and had once experienced Maia’s prowess when it came to protecting her boss. Her loyalty was unwavering, in both business and personal pursuits, she always safeguarded Magnus from the less favourable intentions of his affiliates. It was something that birthed a great respect and admiration for the woman but also a profound fear of her ability. Maia had the uncanny ability to perceive even the slightest of shifts, wise beyond her years her insight into the undercurrents of life was fascinating. Her and Magnus formed the ultimate partnership, he enticed and entrapped his clients into a world of fantasy whilst she made it all possible.

Alec was quickly brought out of his stupor as the doors of the elevator slide open, as he stepped out into the open front room of the suite. Looking over his shoulder he watched Maia as she pushed slightly off the wall to push a button on the panel of the elevator. 

‘Don’t disappoint me Alec.’ 

With a brief nod, the doors closed and Alec began his descend into the penthouse in search of Magnus. His tentative steps, carrying him in the direction of what seemed to be the master bedroom. He wasn't complete sure how, but he could feel Magnus presence emanating through the walls of the suite, an intuition he would rather not ignore. 

Slowly pushing open the ajar bedroom doors, he snaked his way through the small opening unsure and not wanting to disturbance Magnus. The sight of the man alone would be a temporary balm for his current crisis, the rest he would surely wait to resolve once the man was in a more aware state.  The sight he was met with however, well, that was honestly one he will never be able to erase.

For in the middle of the large bed sits a hunched over Magnus, hands pulling erratically at his messy hair. Eyes red from the tears that stained his cheek, pooling along his collarbone as they soaked the collar of his low hanging t-shirt. Alec stood frozen in astonishment, heart beating loudly in his ears. Never had he seen a more beautiful nightmare. He fought against every desire in his body that willed him to scoop the man up into his arms, kissing away every tear, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

When did he become so possessive and acquisitive of his friend? When did he feel such a blazing heat forcing itself from his skin, making him feel trapped in his own body, yearning to be free. In that moment, as his heart raced without guile, Alec lost all inhibition over his usually collected thoughts.  His body moved on auto pilot, an overpowering magnetic force that propelled him ferociously towards Magnus.

Taking long strides towards him, Alec paused at the foot of the bed, clearing his throat as Magnus whipped his head up, eyes widening in shock, a painful whimper escaping his mouth.

‘Alex-ander.’


	5. To feel freely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments, feedback and patience. I hope this chapter does you justice.

It felt like a lifetime that Alec stood, eyes boring longingly into the sorrow filled eyes of his friend. Clenching and unclenching his fists, Alec could feel the stinging of the indentations of his nails against his palms, helping to clear his mind and figure out his next move. When he left New York, all he could think about was getting to Magnus. Now that he was in front of the man, he was at a loss for what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do, how he wanted to feel.

Wiping his face with the back of his hands, Magnus moved quickly off the bed, making his way towards Alec’s petrified form.

‘Alec. What are you doing here?’ Magnus maintained a careful distance from Alec, shoulders hunched over in resignation, arms crossed over his body as if to shield himself.

‘My name is Alexander, Magnus. Please don't call me Alec, my name is Alexander.’ 

Ever since Magnus had first referred to him by his nickname over the phone, Alec had yearned to hear the man speak his name fully. It gave him some sort of assurance that in the midst of their current despair that everything was going to be alright, they would work through it, that Magnus didn't hate him.

‘I’m sorry Ale…’

‘Magnus, stop apologising. I have no idea why you keep apologising to me. You did nothing wrong.’ 

Magnus turned his head slightly, staring out the large glass windows that overlook the Toronto skyline. Alec took the moment to step closer towards the man, lifting his hand slowly to place gently against his bicep. He hoped the touch would bring as much comfort to the man as it is currently bringing to him, the need to feel connected to Magnus driving him to the clutches of his desperation.

Lowering his head, Magnus stared at Alec’s arm before moving his hand and clasping it gently around Alec’s wrist. The feeling of Magnus’ touch on his skin, instantly relaxing Alec, as watched his friend’s internal struggle. 

Drained and exhausted from his travels, Alec guided Magnus to the edge of the bed, sitting across from him and cupping Magnus’ cheek in his palm. 

‘Magnus, please. Talk to me.’

Magnus’ eyes flutter closed, nuzzling his cheek against Alec’s hand as his thumb tenderly caresses his cheek. ‘I-I can’t. I can’t lose you.’

Alec’s heart constricted at the anguish dripping from his friend’s words, the mutual fear that the pair share heightening their suffering.

‘That’s not possible. That will never be possible. You're my best friend.’ 

They way that Alec hesitates on those last two words lingers in the tense space between them. Best friend? Is that even a sufficient label to explain all that Magnus means to him. Is it even enough to detail of how much Alec values Magnus’ friendship, how it is the single most important thing to him in his life. How he will stay awake for more than 24 hours to catch an international flight because he can’t bear, can’t think, can’t sleep knowing that Magnus is in pain.

‘That’s the problem. That’s all I’ll ever be to you.’ Magnus pulls himself away from Alec’s embrace, moving to create a noticeable amount of space between them.

‘What, no, Magnus, you're so much more to me. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I wish I could have. I need you in my life, please don’t leave.’

Magnus stood stiffly glued to the floor, conflict raging in his eyes as he rubbed his palms on his thighs. Alec pushed himself off the bed, sick of this space between them, placing himself in front of Magnus as he moved their foreheads together, bracing his arms against his shoulders.

‘Alec..Alexander.’ Magnus’s soft whimpers spoke of profound grief, of harboured feelings that claw at the walls of your heart, begging to be emancipated. ‘We can’t, you…’

‘Magnus, what, what can’t we do? Please Magnus, I need you to be honest with me. I need to know what’s going on. You being this upset is literally killing me.’

Exhaling, Magnus slowly moved his arms hesitantly as he lightly gripped Alec’s waist. Raising his head at the touch, Alec saw the silent questions emanating from Magnus’ eyes, the anguish the hope, the desire, the _love_. 

Love.

Why hadn’t he seen it sooner? Alec thought back to all those nights he would spend alone with Magnus. The way the man would look at him as if he hung all the stars in the sky. The way the man’s eyes would brighten, smile taking over his face whenever he would open his door and see Alec standing in the frame. The tender caresses, lingering touches and gentle displays of affection. Alec had always been content in the platonic nature of their friendship, more than just friends but nothing _more_ than that. He respected Magnus’ wishes, knew that the man didn't want to push that boundary between friends and lovers, where it could all disintegrate so quickly. 

Magnus’ was never short of temporary lovers, people who met his greatest pleasures and deepest desires. It was one of reasons that Alec never pursued anything further with Magnus, he could never be that, never saw himself as capable of only having Magnus once.

Alec always believed that Magnus hungered for the temporary nature of his fleeting connections, rather basking in the freedom of knowing many without being committed to one. Could it be that maybe Magnus saw something more with him? Or was it the stress of the past couple of weeks making him believe such an illusion?

Regardless, Alec could no longer stand this stiffness between them. He felt like he had been denying the inevitable, he needed to take the chance, needed to know if Magnus could possibly feel the same tidal wave of emotions the mere thought of the man produced.

Ducking his head, Alec slowly moved his lips, pressing them against Magnus’. He closed his eyes and absorbed the explosion of heat coursing throughout his body. He felt fireworks erupting across his limbs, butterflies freely flying around in his stomach. Magnus’ lips were like a cold drink after a scorching hot day, like the final piece of the puzzle that you have been searching for, realising it was stuck inside the box the entire time.

Pulling away gently, he moved his hands to either side of Magnus’ face, thumbs caressing his cheeks, wiping away the moisture collecting at the corners of Magnus’ eyes. Staring into those beautiful soulful eyes, Alec knew exactly what he needed to do, exactly what he needed to say. Izzy was right, enough was enough, he couldn’t go on pretending anymore.

‘Magnus. I love you.’

It felt as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders at the admission. Like all of his frustrations, his erratic behaviour, his worries, they all now made sense. He loved the man, would do anything for him, wanted him, _needed_ him. It was that simple really.

Dipping his head, Alec tipped forward to recapture Magnus’ lips, the need to feel his skin brushing against his driving him crazy. Now that he had relished in the sweet taste of Magnus’ mouth, he was addicted. If this was the last memory he ever had of his time on this Earth, the taste of this man alone would be enough for him to die a thousand happy deaths.

Before their lips could connect, Magnus tensed, jumping backwards, like being burnt by a blazing inferno radiating from Alec’s fingertips. Placing his hand over his forehead and shutting his eyes, Magnus whispered shakily, ’Alec, please, I can’t.’

Alec’s stomach dropped, a pang of dread causing a pit of worry to bury itself against his caged heart. Did Magnus not feel the same? Alec had just forced himself on the man. What the fuck had he just done!?

Plagued by sudden regret, Alec stood frozen, anticipating his next move, scared of the eternal damage he had just caused to their friendship. His greatest fear of being rejected by the one man he cared the most for, playing out right in front of his eyes. He waited and watched repentantly as Magnus raised his hands in front of him, eyes locked on Alec’s, slowly shuffling as he backed away from him.

What had Alec just done? Had he read this all wrong? He thought, he thought he had seen the want in Magnus’ eyes, the fear but undoubtedly the clear affection for him. Fuck. He was so stupid, Magnus didn't want him, Magnus just didn't want to hurt him. It wasn’t love, it was guilt. Magnus just felt sorry for him.

He couldn’t be here right now, he had to apologise to Magnus and get out of here.

Pacing out of the bedroom, Alec found Magnus leaning against the kitchen counter, wine glass in hand, staring blankly at the floor. He slowly approached the man, careful to maintain a comfortable distance.

With his hands firmly clasped behind his back, Alec focused his gaze on a point just over Magnus’ shoulder, still in shock by what he had just done. ’Magnus, I’m so sorry, I shouldn't have done that.’

Blinking slowly, Magnus paused momentarily before speaking painfully softly, ’I know Alexander, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have lied to you.’ 

Sighing deeply, he shifted his gaze to Magnus’ face. He needed to confront his mistakes, not ignore them in hopes that they would go away, not this time. ’I need you to know that I was completely out of line, but Magnus, fuck, the look in your eye,I thought you felt the same. I swear I wouldn't have done that if you didn’t.’ Alec watched as Magnus lifted his head, glancing briefly at Alec before moving his eyes around the room, attempting to clear the moisture escaping his eyes.

‘That’s the thing though Alexander, I do, I always have, I never will stop, but.....it’s not enough.’

Alec felt his heart constrict painfully as he moved a hand through his hair nervously. Throwing his arm roughly down to his side in protest, he rolled his shoulders back. ’Then fuck Magnus, what is enough!? Am I not enough? Are **we** not enough!?’ Slightly agitated and increasingly annoyed by Magnus’ restrained tone, Alec crossed his arms against his chest, mimicking Magnus’ posture.

Magnus gasped as he fixed his gaze on Alec, shock and outrage taking residence on his flustered face. ’No Alec, you have always been enough, but I can never have enough of you! I want you! I need you! All of you…. but - but I’m just...just a mistake! To you, to my partners, to everyone I’ve ever loved. All these years of bedding temporary lovers, I never thought I deserved you, I needed to get over you but I just couldn't get away from you. I’m just fucking pathetic, lonely, undesirable. My father was right, I don't deserve to be loved.’ Crossing his arms over his chest, Magnus let out a deep guttural sob, closing his body off to Alec.

Leaning forward slightly, as he shook his head in disbelief, Alec hesitated, wanting so desperately to touch the man but conscious of the strained situation. Alec knew of Magnus’ troubled past, the way he carefully masked his insecurities behind laughter and alcohol fuelled dalliances. He always knew his father’s abuse affected Magnus greatly, but he never knew the impact was this profound. That this tormented child that wanted nothing but to be loved and cared for by his parents would so carelessly be thrown to any willing family. That this child would grow to become a man full of guarded love, who kept his comfort maintaining a facade of joviality. Always searching for something more, but once he had found it, never believing he deserved to have it at all. He couldn't allow Magnus to believe that his past defined him, he was so so so much more than that.

’Magnus, no, no, no. You can’t believe that, you are not nothing. You..are..everything. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. From the day you moved in I have been nothing but enraptured by you. You're selfless, you wear your heart on your sleeve, your smile alone lights up the sky. I am nothing but privileged to have you in my life. You could **never** be a mistake to me.’ 

Alec gnawed at the bottom of his lip as he watched Magnus, hoping the pain of the act was enough to distract him from the turbulence of feelings racing through him. 

Magnus looked at him accusingly, huffing as he waved his hand dismissively in front of his face. ’Then - then why did you tell everyone I was? That’s not fair. You - you can’t love me in secret but ignore me in public.’

‘Magnus, what are you talking about? I never, what!?’

Gulping, Magnus took a moment to brace himself. ’The night of my party, after I asked you to stay with me, we….I mean…we almost hooked up and I thought that finally I would have a chance to show you how I really feel, but you freaked out, told me it was the biggest mistake of your life, left me in a cold bed naked, exposed and alone. I thought, I thought you wanted me too.’ Glancing away, Magnus’ tightened his crossed arms, leaning back harder against the bench.

Alec couldn't take this anymore, they were going around in circles, tip toeing around the truth in their affections for each other. Slapping his hand against his forehead, he grunted as he exhaled, 

’Wait what?! We….fuck…no…I was so drunk, that’s not, that’s not what I meant.’ 

Taking a step forward, he placed himself in front of Magnus, trying to catch the man’s wandering eyes, ’Magnus, please look at me.’ 

With a deep breath, Alec allowed himself to relax. He was too exhausted to fight anymore, the fatigue heightening his usually blunt and straightforward nature. He remembered how Izzy had reminded him of the residence that Magnus took in his heart, how regardless of their physical separation, Magnus would always be with him, be apart of him. Will always hold a special place inside of him. He wasn’t scared anymore, wasn’t worried about losing this man.

’I’ve been so terrified to show you how I really feel because I never thought you would want me the same way I’ve always wanted you. You always favoured other people over me, I thought it was because I was never enough. I couldn't lose you, couldn't not have you in my life. I was afraid that if you found out you’d be disgusted and I just couldn't deal with you looking at me like that.’ 

Searching Magnus’ eyes, Alec guided his stiff arms, loosening them away from his rigid posture. Trailing his hand down Magnus’ forearm, he took his hand, interlocking their fingers, as he reached his free hand to cup Magnus’ cheek in his palm.

’Magnus, I can’t live without you.’

Bracing his hand against Magnus’ face, he leant in for one final kiss. If after this the man rejected his feelings, disregarded his admissions and decided he couldn't bare to be his friend, at least he would leave knowing he had done everything he could, had said everything he needed to say.

If Magnus didn't believe his words, Alec needed to show him, show him the nights he would toss recklessly, wishing he had Magnus’ warm and comforting body curled up next to him. The nights he wished it was him, wished he was the one that Magnus would seduce, wished he was the one that Magnus would desire. Wished that at the end of the day Magnus would choose him, that Magnus would continue to choose him.

The touch of their lips was enough to ignite Alec’s faith in their connection. He felt as Magnus squeezed his hand in affirmation, relaxing his body as he allowed the passion of their embrace to melt away the tension in his body. Deepening the kiss, Alec licked on the seam of Magnus mouth, dipping his tongue into the warmth and licking along his teeth. His tongue curled it’s way around the edges of Magnus’ tongue as he tilted his head, taking more of the glorious man into his mouth.

Alec had never felt so intoxicated by a kiss. It was as if Magnus was breathing life into his soul, awakening the feelings he had so unconsciously buried for so long. As Magnus moaned into his mouth, Alec forced himself to pull away, drunk in the captivating feel of the man but conscious of his overconsumption.

Magnus buried his head into Alec’s neck, capturing his breath as he whispered across Alec’s skin, ‘You never cease to amaze me Alexander.’

Chuckling, Alec rested his chin on top of the man’s hand as his kissed his temple, ‘Only for you.’

They stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, exhausted from the weight of their confessions, content in their comforting embrace. Alec’s fingers drew comforting circles across Magnus’ shoulder as he steadied his breathing to match his. 

Yawning, Magnus tightened his grip around Alec’s waist, breathing into his ear, ‘We really need to talk about this more, but for tonight, I just want you to hold me.’

With a wide grin, Alec kissed the top of Magnus’ head, unwrapping his friend from his body against his protests. With their fingers still firmly interlocked, Alec dragged a weary Magnus to his bed, helping him to slowly undress down to his briefs, before doing the same. Climbing into the large king size bed, he pulled Magnus towards him, scooping him into his arms, as Magnus laid his head against Alec’s chest.

Whispering against Alec’s chest, Magnus buried further into him, intertwining their bare legs, ‘Promise me you’ll be here in the morning.’

Sighing contently, Alec murmured into Magnus’ hair, ‘For you, anything’, shutting his eyes and finally allowing his exhaustion to take him.

 


	6. Show me love.

Fluttering his eyes open, Alec awoke to a freshly showered Magnus languidly emerging through the large bathroom doors. The tips of his hair glistened with droplets of water that travelled down his softly glowing skin. The steam from the bathroom bellowed around him, curling its way across his skin as it slowly evaporated. Magnus was the picture of pure divine perfection. He looked like the most beautiful angel, emerging from a heavenly place, here to sooth away all of Alec’s troubles and grant him his deepest wishes. Alec felt like he was trapped in a dream sequence that he would gladly remain in forever.  

Rubbing his eyes with his palms to clear his brain from the fog of his morning gratification, Alec pulled back the covers, swinging his legs, as he sat on the side of the bed taking in Magnus’ grace. 

Noticing Alec’s movements, Magnus stalled hesitantly in the middle of the room, a small tentative smile gracing his uncertain expression. He slowly moved his lower lip between his teeth, eyes glinting as his eyes travelled around Alec’s face.

They remained in the moment for what felt like forever, not moving, not talking, just simply admiring. After the chaos of the past few months, the serenity of the current moment was welcome and extremely well deserved. Like a breath of fresh air after being locked away in a dark place against your will. Clawing at the walls, crying to be heard, to be saved, to be free. 

Dropping his towel on the floor, Magnus relaxed his expression, moving towards Alec languidly, a certain ease in his movements that brought Alec comfort. He’d gotten used to the tension in Magnus’ posture, the furrowed brows, the uncertainty in his eyes that he always seemed to quickly mask with his flirtations. He always read it as just a part of who Magnus was, of the torture of his upbringing and the pain of lost loves. Never did he ever think it was because of him, because Magnus thought he wasn’t worthy of Alec’s affections.

 Before the guilt could take a hold of Alec, he was dragged back to reality by the touch of a warm hand against his thigh. Turning his head to the side, he instantly softened at the warmhearted affection radiated through Magnus’ timid eyes. 

Alec felt his heart rate begin to rapidly fluctuate. Magnus was looking at him with a small glint of doubt that was overshadowed by the most profound admiration. As if here, in this moment, he was terrified of the fact that he had found his a sense of serenity.

Slowly moving his hand to cover Magnus’, Alec allowed his lips to curve into a gentle smile.

‘Hey.’

Magnus’ eyes crinkled tenderly at the whispered greeting. ‘Hey yourself’. Matching Alec’s smile, he lightly squeezed his thigh in reassurance.

Shifting his body to face Magnus front on, Alec flipped Magnus’ hand so that their palms met as he interlocked their fingers. He glanced down at the embrace, realising just how _right_ Magnus’ hand felt in his. How the smallest of bodily contact made him feel nervous but content. If this alone was enough to make his heart race, then surely Magnus making love to him would be his end.

Oh, love. A rush of emotions surged through Alec as the remembered the events of the previous night. He tensed slightly, embarrassment causing him to blush as he recalled candidly professing his love to the man.

Magnus pulled away slightly, fear dripping from his eyes, as if awaiting a sudden outpour of regret and rejection. When Alec tugged him closer, he brokenly murmured ’Alec, hey, you okay?’ as he raised their joined hands, peppering light kisses against Alec’s knuckles.

The touch of Magnus’ lips were like a balm that soothed away his sudden apprehension. If only this man knew the command he already had over his heart.

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine now. We should probably talk but I’m starving.’

As if on cue, Alec’s stomach started rumbling, making Magnus lean over holding his stomach, as he laughed gingerly at the irony of the moment.

‘Oh, Alexander, you truly are a gift.’ Straightening his body he stood, leaning down to cup the side of Alec’s head as he gently kissed his forehead. ‘Shower first, I’ll organise the food.’

Feeling slightly brazen at Magnus’ open affections, Alec murmured, ‘Only if you join me’ as he peered cheekily into Magnus’ shocked eyes.

Magnus let out a hearty chuckle, eyes crinkling at the corners as he stroked Alec’s hair out of his face. ‘Darling I’m all for water conservation, but we both know you’d never want me to leave.’

It was refreshing for Alec to be once again at the receiving end of Magnus’ open flirtations. However this time he knew of the man’s feelings for him. He knew that this was no longer a game for Magnus, that Magnus actually reciprocated his affections, that Magnus actually _wanted_ him.

Turning on the shower, Alec allowed the warm stream of water to engulf his body, smirking at the positive shift in the atmosphere. Last night he had felt like he was consumed by his own terrors, a tsunami of panic and horror, drowning in the fear of losing Magnus. After they had finally laid everything out and actually expressed their feelings, Alec sensed the decaying of a longstanding emotional chasm between them.

Telling Magnus that he loved him, admitting that he couldn't live without him, was unquestionably one of the most terrifying moments of Alec’s life. He hadn’t said he loved him back but that was okay, he was prepared to wait, prepared to give Magnus the space to realise his feelings. He didn't care how long it took, as long as he was with Magnus, he was more than content. Of course he wanted to build a proper relationship with him but he was aware that the effects of Magnus’s past was a battle they had to fight collectively.

Alec couldn’t forget how much Magnus’ childhood had stained his outlook on life. Now that he knew more intimately of Magnus’ insecurities around love, it all made sense. The way growing up moving from house to house, never having a chance to build connections, made him believe he wasn’t capable of giving or receiving love. He truly believed he wasn’t made for more than a moment of pleasure. a moment where he could be lost in bliss, an escape from the burdens of his loneliness. Alec made a silent vow to himself that whatever happened between them, he would never allow Magnus to feel that way again. He was going to commit himself to giving every ounce of love he possessed to the man, in any way he will allow him to.

Drying himself off and dressing quickly, Alec paced outside the bedroom with a renewed sense of joy and excitement. He found Magnus waiting at the large marble kitchen bench, an array of breakfast items laid out in front of the guilty looking man.

‘So maybe I got excited and ordered everything on the menu.’ Magnus blinked innocently, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly as he gestured for Alec to join him.

Alec slid into the stool next to Magnus, accepting a plate of mix matched food and a tall glass of orange juice, whilst responding, ‘You sure know how to spoil a man.’

Magnus winked affectionately raising his mimosa to Alec, ‘To….us.’ Clinking their glasses together, he sighed contently, resting his head against Alec’s shoulder as he sneakily stole bacon from his plate.

Taking in the domesticity of the current moment, Magnus spoke into the open space in front of them, ‘I think I could get used to this’ as he snuggled closer to Alec.

Alec felt the heat on his shoulder from Magnus’ head, expand throughout his body, bringing all the hairs on his body to attention. There was something alleviating about Magnus speaking in future tense about them. They hadn't spoken about what they wanted to have together but the small admission was enough to tame his anxieties.

Leaning his head against Magnus, he exhaled steadily, ‘Yeah, me too.’

With a kiss to Alec’s cheek, Magnus began to savour their breakfast spread, as Alec relaxed contently into the tranquility of their morning meal.

***

They decided to spent the remainder of the day together sightseeing in Toronto. In many moments Alec felt the sudden urge to grab Magnus’ hand or pepper his lips with chaste kisses. He didn't however want to force himself on to the man again. He still wasn't sure where they stood but was satisfied in the time he got to spend in Magnus’ presence.

He was still extremely emotionally drained from the tumultuous events of last night, deciding a carefree day with the man that he loved was more than deserved.

As they sat on a bench by the waterfront watching the sunset, Alec was overcome by the impromptu need to feel Magnus’ skin on his own. It was like the sides of two powerful magnetics coming together, for as Alec reached his arm around his shoulder, Magnus moved closer snuggling against his chest. They both giggled warmly at their synchronised movements, drawing themselves closer to each other. Alec couldn't help but feel affected by the harmony that existed between them. He always felt comfort around Magnus but never was he this content. Like he was no longer shackled to fear that his every display of affection would ultimately result in certain rejection.

‘Alexander…please never leave me.’

The vulnerable tone of Magnus’ words ricocheted through the air colliding forcefully with the vessels of Alec’s rapidly beating heart. He felt Magnus slump against him defeatedly, as if he had suddenly decided that these last words were all he had to give.

‘Magnus.’ Alec replied with a firm tone. Not realising how close they were, Alec turned his head, feeling the warmth of Magnus’ breath on his cheek. ‘My heart chose for me a long time ago, I can’t - don’t want to leave….ever.’

Gasping Magnus pulled away reluctantly, eyes wide and searching Alec’s face eagerly.

‘Alexander…are you sure?’

Alec shifted his eyes to Magnus’, holding his gaze firmly to communicate the seriousness of his statement, ’I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want this, you, us. However you’ll have me.’ Raising his hand between them, he wrapped his fingers around Magnus’ forearm, the corners of his lips lifting into a fond smile.

Staring down at Alec’s hand on his skin, Magnus mirrored his gesture, placing his hand on Alec’s forearm. ’I want us too….’ His gaze lifted to meet Alec’s, eyes glowing with a distinct vulnerability mixed with an honest determination.

The short pause in Magnus’ sentence felt like a dagger being slowly driven into Alec’s chest. Impatience bleeding into his voice, as he waited for the anticipated moment of rejection, ’But…’

‘But….I just…I’m not used to this whole relationship thing. It kind of terrifies me actually.’ Sighing Magnus slowly relaxed his grip on Alec’s forearm.

Not prepared to allow the man to surrender before they had even given this a chance, Alec tightened his grip on Magnus’s arm. ’Magnus, however slow you want to take this, we will. As long as I get you, I’m happy.’ 

Alec gave Magnus a moment to consider his promise. He struggled to read Magnus’ blank expression, as his eyes flittered around Alec’s face, as if considering his options. Alec sat patiently, a cataclysm of sensations wracking his stiff body. 

Noticing his rigid frame, Magnus attempted to lighten the mood, leaning towards him as he crinkled his eyes in mirth. ’And the Chairman?’

‘Oh, the Chairman is definitely my true love. Maybe I’m just using you to get to him.’ Alec sniggered teasingly, grinning at Magnus’ appalled pout.

Placing his hand over his chest, Magnus mockingly turned his face away from Alec as he lightly closed his eyes. ’Alexander, you wound me. We’re through.’

‘Before we even really started!? Magnus, I’m so sorry...’ pausing as an idea formed in his mind Alec schooled his expression, before he smiled slyly, ‘…can we just kiss and make up?’

‘Oh I…’ Magnus attempted to fake protest but honestly Alec was done talking, he needed Magnus’ lips on his before he spontaneously combusted. Grabbing the man’s face between his palms he lightly placed his lips against Magnus’, not wanting to force the man into grand displays of affection. 

Alec was startled as Magnus grabbed the hairs on the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss as he angled both of their heads. Magnus’ tongue slid between his lips, licking his teeth languidly, baiting Alec’s tongue into action. Alec allowed his tongue to dance eagerly with Magnus’, forgetting his need to breathe as his body melted into their embrace. Every inch of Alec’s skin tingled with the heat from Magnus’ touch. 

He needed, wanted, desired more. He needed every inch of this man wrapped around his frame. He wanted Magnus’ soft caramel skin rubbing against own, as they moved together seamlessly, expressing their every desire as they reached their highest peak. He was lost, engrossed in the very essence of this incandescent man, disoriented by his mere existence. 

Withdrawing his tongue gently, Magnus stilled his lips as he rested his forehead against Alec’s.

Breathing heavily into the small space between them, words sloppily falling out of his mouth, ’So what are we….?’ He broke off his sentence as he stared into Alec’s eyes, waiting for Alec to clarify their relation. 

‘Friends….who are trying?’ Alec spoke dubiously, careful not to force Magnus into a commitment he was not comfortable with.

Magnus hummed questioningly before replying, ’Exclusive friends who are definitely trying and definitely going on lots of dates.’

Attempting to lead Magnus to a more definite description, Alec pondered, ’So we’re dating?’

Magnus lingered in the moment timidly, taken back slightly by the bluntness of Alec’s question, ’Ummm yeah? I mean....’

Before he had a chance to think his response through, Alec blurted out, ’I don’t want you to date anyone else’, face reddening at his candid admission.

Exhaling steadily as he blushed, Magnus ran his fingertips along the side of Alex’s face before resting his palm against his neck. Gazing into Alec’s shy eyes, he smiled softly as he nodded, ‘I like the sound of that.’ 

***

Relaxing against the bar, Alec watched as Magnus weaved his way around the room, mingling and ensuring the grand event was running smoothly. The party was being hosted by one of Magnus’ bigger clients, familiar famous faces scattered amongst the enormous crowd. Alec always knew of Magnus alluring and enigmatic nature, but watching the man as he worked his way around the room, entertaining his client’s guests, Alec was truly mesmerised.

The past four days spent with Magnus had been beyond anything he had ever experienced. He had decided to stay in Toronto, taking sometime away from work, wanting to prolong this bubble of bliss that they had created. 

It had been a long time, if ever that Alec had seen Magnus smile so effortlessly, acting in such a carefree manner. A certain pride drummed in Alec’s chest knowing that he had been apart of the reason for the radiant joy that emanated from the man’s face.

It was crazy how easily they fit together, their morning and nightly routines seamless, as if they had been doing it for a lifetime. It was the small things, like the way that Magnus knew that he liked to shower second or how he hated when the toothpaste dried around the lip of the tube. The man so easily removing it for him without hesitation, taking every possible step to ensure Alec’s comfort. It felt like more than just the things you knew about each other after years of friendship. It was as if in this short time he was realising how just suitable Magnus was for him. Beyond his jaw dropping beauty and endearingly warm heart, it felt to Alec like Magnus was made for him, just and only him.

Alec was drawn out of his Magnus filled haze by the brushing of a small shoulder against his arm.

‘I’m glad it all worked out in the end. I really didn’t want to hurt you Alec. To be honest I always liked you....plus I promised Izzy I’d play nice.’

Throwing his head back and laughing, Alec smirked at Maia’s playfully threatening tone. A welcome change in their relationship from the tension between them when he first arrived in Toronto.

Twirling his overly strong but delicious drink in his hand, he raised his eyebrow in her direction as he lifted his glass to her, ‘Thank the heavens for my overly enthusiastic and annoyingly persistent sister.’ 

Grinning she clinked her glass with his, downing the remainder of her drink as she slammed her glass against the bar. ‘..and thank the heavens for open bars.’ Gesturing to the bartender, she ordered them both tequila shots, handing one over to Alec. ‘Drink up _Alexander_ , I’m sure you're in for a long night.’ Winking she sauntered away, as Alec tracked her curly hair bounce through the dense crowd.

Allowing the effects of the alcohol to travel through his body, Alec gently closed his eyes, sighing quietly to himself at the euphoria blossoming in his chest. His heart fluttered as he thought of the man that had made these feelings permanent fixtures. He felt privileged to be the one that Magnus had chosen to share his affections and desires with. It had been less then a week since their heart felt confessions but Alec could feel himself falling deeper and deeper for this man.

Moving away from the bar, he strolled along the edges of the crowd before being pulled into a dark secluded area and pressed up against a cold wall.

He felt a warm breath against his throat, a playful and seductive nature in the tone, ’Enjoying yourself?’

Heart hammering in his chest, he breathed in the intoxicating aroma of a sandalwood and citrus. His head began to spin as he felt a warm body move against him, warm hands travelling gracefully under his shirt. Alec’s skin tingled as the man’s lips began to attack his neck, sucking his pulse point as his tongue smoothed the area before blowing gently over the skin. Alec’s back arched at the sensation, arousal growing in his pants as he allowed himself to be engrossed by Magnus’ ministrations.

Alec’s eyes fluttered closed as Magnus’ hand traced patterns on his hips, before moving along his belt, as his fingers dipped below the hem of his pants. The man nipped at Alec’s jaw, hand palming over the front of Alec’s sensitive crotch. The sensation caught Alec off guard, head dropping to the man’s shoulder, as he groaned, ‘Fuckkkkk Maggnusss.’

Chuckling, Magnus nibbled at his ear, before whispering seductively, ‘You’re just so irresistible.’

Alec couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to be alone with this man, now. ’Magnus, please, I…take me home.’

Licking along the shell of his ear, Magnus hummed, ‘Not before you dance with me.’

Dragging a flushed Alec onto the dance floor, Magnus wrapped Alec’s arms around his waist, as he provocatively swung his hips to the upbeat music. Alec wasn't really much of a dancer but something about the effortlessness of Magnus’ movements entranced him to a point of no return. Consumed by the exhilaration of being wrapped around this beautiful man, as he ground against him, Alec dropped his head forward allowing himself to relax against Magnus' body. He tried to remember that this was Magnus' work event and they had to maintain a level of professional, but Magnus was making that nearly impossible for him. 

He latched his lips against the protruding vein of Magnus’ neck, sucking along the fibrous form as Magnus thew his head back elongating his neck. Magnus’ skin tasted absolutely heavenly, like biting into a warm marshmallow after it had been toasted perfectly over a campfire. Alec wanted nothing more then to devour every inch of this man’s body. He deserved to be worshipped like the divine being that he was. He knew as much as he desired, he had no problem waiting for the right time for them join their bodies in union.

Simply having Magnus in his life, being able to freely kiss and dote on him, seeing the man's radiant smile and hearing that deeply seductive voice that drove Alec crazy, that was honestly enough. Everything else could wait.

Before he knew it they had danced and drank for longer than expected, his alcohol hazed brain ignoring the throbbing of his feet in favour of Magnus in his arms. Staring out of the window of their Uber as Magnus laid against his chest, Alec’s mind spun with wonder and excitement. He still couldn't fathom how blessed he was to be able to freely admit his love for this man. Glancing at their interlocked hands, he kissed Magnus’ temple, drawing their hands closer to his body. Waves of affection erupted throughout his body as his whispered against Magnus’ skin, ‘I love you baby.’


	7. Slowly but surely.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Shameless smut ahead  
> *sings biirtthhhdaaayyy seeexxxx

With every day that Alec spent loving Magnus he was increasingly astonished at the way the man effortlessly further captured his heart. After two months of taking things slowly and enjoying their time together, they had decided to become an exclusive couple. His siblings had frequently harassed him about making things official with Magnus, but he was content to move at a pace which suited the both of them. He was stable in his love for the man and knew they were both too captivated by each other for the man to feel the need to rush. 

To be honest the time had given Magnus a chance to deal with his insecurities and open himself up fully to Alec. They had had many profound conversations about Magnus’ past, Alec making sure to take the time to listen and reassure his lover of how special he really is. The slower pace of their relationship had allowed him to develop a deeper level of affection for his boyfriend and trust in their bond. 

Laying on Magnus’ bed, watching as he artfully prepared himself for work was increasingly becoming one of Alec’s favourite activities. The fluidity with which the man danced around his spacious bedroom always caught Alec off guard. How could one man be so effortlessly beautiful without even so much as trying? It just wasn’t fair.

Sitting up, Alec leant against his bent elbows, crossing his long muscular legs in front of him as he thanked every deity that be for these precious moments. His boyfriend stood in his endless walk in closet, bare chested with two distinctly different silk shirts resting in his hand. He stepped forward, the rays of the afternoon sun shining through the open window, radiating off his luminous skin. Alec watched as he strode forward, fingers trailing through the soft material of his shirts, as he furrowed his brows in deliberation. Magnus narrowed his eyes, darting his tongue slightly out of his mouth as he habitually licked along his lower lip, moistening it considerably.

Fuck. Alec threw his head back whining exaggeratedly as he shut his eyes, trying to contain the erotic thoughts spiralling throughout his brain. His boyfriend, this man, Magnus fucking Bane, was the epitome of pure walking sin. Alec would die a thousand deaths just to watch Magnus purely exist in all his mastery. 

‘Everything okay darling?’ Magnus sidled up next to the bed, sitting comfortably on the edge as he placed his hand against Alec’s thigh.

Bringing his head forward, Alec’s jaw slackened as he took in his boyfriend’s brilliance. His eyes were lined in a warm chocolate brown, the corners dusted with a light bronze glitter that joined the perfectly blended highlighter that adorned his soft cheekbones. Alec had watched Izzy’s make up routine enough to know that Magnus’ skilled abilities with a brush were beyond perfection. The man knew how to extenuate his most striking features, the parts of his face and body that drew you in, luring you closer into his web. 

Alec licked his lips hungrily, staring at Magnus as he groaned, ’You are going to be the literal death of me.’

Magnus fluttered his eyes innocently, shrugging his shoulders as his lips morphed into a mischievous smirk. Noticing the lust seeping into Alec’s eyes,  he walked his fingers teasingly along Alec’s thigh, pushing up the hem of his shirt, gaining access to his well defined abs. Magnus shuffled up the bed, leaning his head slowly towards Alec. He was quickly caught off guard as Alec swiftly grabbed his wrist, bringing his face forward so that they noses were touching. He whispered ardently against Magnus’ lips, ’Don’t you dare. I know what you're doing you tease’, as Magnus’ lip curled slightly at his challenging tone.

Heart beating wildly against his chest, Alec schooled his features, attempting to mask how ridiculously affected he was by his boyfriend’s flirtations. He knew what Magnus was doing, knew how much the man loved tempting Alec into his seductive game. It drove Alec absolutely insane, the way Magnus flaunted himself in front of him, daring him to reach out before slyly recoiling his baiting. Magnus was all too knowledgeable in the provocative gestures that hungered Alec, that brought out a primitive lust that could only be satiated by devouring the man.

Alec watched as Magnus shifted his head back slightly, startled by the intensity emanating by Alec’s pointed warning. Eyes glowing with glee, he pressed a chaste kiss to Alec’s lips as he stood swiftly, swinging his hips dramatically as retreated into the bathroom. He paused in the doorway, throwing his head back over his shoulder before pronouncing eagerly, ‘I suppose you can survive eight hours without my moist wanting lips wrapped around your cock’, slamming the door shut behind him.

Today was going to be a long day.

***

It took less than three hours before Alec gave in to temptation and decided to visit Magnus at work. The images of his beautiful barely clothed boyfriend, those well defined muscles and perfectly plump lips continuously hamming against his every thought. 

It was useless to pretend that he was going to get any work done today, not when he spent most of his meetings anxiously waiting for them to end. The seconds ticked by at a frustratingly languid pace, making the countdown until he was wrapped in his boyfriend’s arms torturous.

‘Um, Alec?’

Blinking rapidly, Alec focused his eyes on the empty boardroom, taking in the vacant seats around him, as his assistant stood across the desk starting at him questionably.

‘Hey, ah, Clary, you okay?’

Clary nodded her head slowly, her vibrant red curled hair bouncing vividly as she paced towards him.

‘I’ve been looking for you, the meeting ended twenty minutes ago and you told me to meet you in your office at 12.’

Alec’s eyes darted to his Rolex, eyes widening at he realised the time, before he jumped awkwardly to his feet.

‘Yeah ah, sorry Clary. Can you cancel my afternoon meetings, I, um, have to see an important client at 1.’

Clary flashed him a knowing look as she took in the calendar notifications for the day’s agenda on her phone. She smiled cheerfully as she replied, ‘Tell him I said Happy Birthday’, before strutting confidently out of the room.

Shaking his head fondly, Alec chuckled as he grabbed his phone and ran his hand through his hair. The scent of sandalwood shampoo wafting into the air, drowning Alec’s senses and reminding him of the source of his internal disquiet. 

Magnus didn't really like celebrating his birthday, stating that they contained nothing but bad memories he would rather forget. Knowing more intimately of Magnus’ upbringing gave Alec the motivation to transform the meaning of the celebration for Magnus. Hopefully after tonight, he would come to associate the day with a celebration of life with the people you love, rather than long and lonely nights spent contemplating ending it all.

As he hurried out of his office building, he sent Izzy a quick text, reminding her to pick up supplies for their surprise tonight. He wondered if the observant man suspected anything of their secret plan, hoping his suspicious behaviour over the past week hadn't made the man skeptical.

Beyond his apprehension sat a certain nervousness as to the success of tonight’s events. He wanted the night to be a special celebration for the man, to remind him of how important he was to their mutual friends and family. Magnus was always the one orchestrating beautiful celebrations for other people, so it only seemed fitting that Alec would do something for him too.

Knowing how busy Magnus had been of late, Alec stopped at the cafe on the corner of Magnus’ building, ordering him his favourite iced latte and glazed almond cookie. He bought a bouquet of white and red roses from the cart outside, nodding to the security guard as he texted Maia to grant him access to the building.

The twenty five floors that Alec ascended in the elevator felt like a never ending spiral of suffering. It felt like everything and everyone was brought to him today to test his resolve. Why was it so hard for him to just see his beautiful boyfriend? 

Shuffling eagerly on his feet, Alec strode intently out of the elevator doors down the long corridor, rounding the corner as the embossed _Baneia_ came into view on the large glass doors in front of him. 

Alec laughed to himself as a smirking Maia stood at the reception desk, arms crossed over her chest as she shook her head fondly. 

‘Couldn’t even wait eight hours. I’m kind of glad you came, you two are insufferable. I’m done hearing him mention your name every five seconds.’

Rolling her eyes and signing dramatically, Maia threw her arms up in the air in defeat. ‘Please, take him out of here. Ever since you two _finally_ got together he’s been driving me crazy.’

She turned rapidly on her heel, gesturing for Alec to follow her towards Magnus’ office. 

Trailing behind, Alec noticed how the decor had been rapidly updated in the past few weeks since he had last been here. The windows were no longer covered by blinds, allowing large amounts of sun to illuminate the glass walled offices. Each table was littered with flower arrangements and the desks had been arranged together into a communal working space.

Alec stopped in front of one of the offices, watching as a group of Magnus’ employees gestured animatedly, typing furiously in between joyously heated discussions.

‘This place has changed a lot in the past couple of months. It seems like Magnus’ new found happiness has brought us all something to be thankful for.’

Maia’s usually stern gaze softened as she shifted her gaze to Alec’s questioning expression. She raised her hand tentatively, placing it tenderly on Alec’s bicep as she bite the corner of her lip.

Dropping her voice, Alec noted the subtle shift in Maia’s face as she muttered, ’Thank you Alec.’ The vulnerability in her tone caused a burst of elation to sweep across Alec’s chest as she lightly squeezed his arm. ‘Thank you for showing him that he too deserves love.’

Alec was caught off guard by the honesty in Maia’s tone as her words resonated within his body. He never realised the rippling effect his and Magnus’ relationship would have on their own respective worlds. Magnus had changed him for the better, made him want to cultivate himself and live to his highest truth.

He always saw Magnus as well composed in his erratic and vibrant behaviour, never allowing unfortunate circumstances to affect his zest for life. Since the start of their friendship he had been such a heavily guarded man, only ever revealing enough to satisfy your curiosity, but never more than he needed.

It was becoming increasingly apparent to Alec that Magnus’ true feelings were always hidden in the subtle undercurrents of his manner. More than simply the clothes that he chose to wear or his makeup artistry, but rather in the way he faintly deviated from his usual preferences. Like how he had started to drink tea with extra honey when he felt vulnerable, or the way he would smile longingly as he watched Alec interact with his siblings.

Without even knowing it, Magnus was transforming before his very eyes, adjusting himself to a new set of circumstances which he no longer had to face alone.

As he exhaled steadily, Alec chuckled nervously, dropping his head momentarily to hide the blush that was expanding down his neck. He shook his head in awe, whispering ‘Honestly Maia, I have no idea what I’m doing’ as he shuffled on his feet.

Maia smiled fondly, patting him on the shoulder as she replied, ‘Well whatever it is, please don't stop, the way Magnus is going, I’m in line for a hefty raise.’ She winked cheekily at Alec with a small wave before walking past him and back towards the reception as she sang, ‘Bye Alec.’

***

Alec crept through the opening in the large doors, spotting Magnus standing looking out over his generous view of the New York. Placing the coffee and bouquet on the desk, he snuck his way up to his unsuspecting boyfriend, snaking his arms around his waist as he tenderly kissed him behind his ear.

Feeling Magnus’ body soften into his embrace, Alec tightened his arms around him pulling him closer against his chest as he whispered into his ear, ‘Hey babe.’

Magnus dropped his head back against Alec’s shoulder, exhaling softly, responding with a tender ‘Hey.’

‘Everything okay?’ Alec pressed his lips against Magnus’ temple, resting his cheek there as he admired the cityline.

Sighing, Magnus placed his hands over Alec’s as he squeezed them gently, ’Yeah, just thinking.’

‘Anything you want to share?’

Alec knew Magnus often needed time to reveal his inner turmoil, requiring the space to come to terms with his intense emotions. The pains of Magnus’ past had caused him to recoil into himself, preferring to deal with his feelings individually, scared to be a burden to others. Alec had made it known that he was not scared of Magnus’ temperament, it was one of the reasons he so dearly cared for the man.

Swaying lightly against him, Magnus breathed in through his nose before pondering, ‘Todays’ just…yeah’.

Moisture dripped onto Alec’s forearm from where he had rolled up his sleeves. He recoiled his hands from around Magnus’ waist, shifting the man so that he was facing him.

‘Hey, hey, Magnus, it’s okay, I got you.’ Alec kissed the tears from Magnus’ cheeks, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ shoulders, allowing him to bury his face into his neck. ‘As long as I’m here, you're safe, I promise.’

Alec heard the sobs vibrate against his shoulder, as he held Magnus’ shaking body in his arms, his heart breaking at the sorrowful cries that encapsulated their embrace. 

‘I’m…I’m…sorry.’ 

Tightening his grip, Alec clung to the back of Magnus’ shirt as his free hand massaged his middled back. ‘You have nothing to apologise for.’ Pulling his head away slightly so that he could look into Magnus’ beautiful eyes, he murmured against his lips, ‘I love you’ before taking them between his own.

What started as a comforting gesture, quickly became a heated display of affection as they were both consumed by forceful tongues and chattering teeth. Magnus gripped tightly against Alec’s waist, as he peppered kisses along his jaw and onto his neck.

‘I missed you so much.’ Alec chuckled, throwing his head back to expose his neck and grant Magnus better access as he sucked under his jaw.

‘I missed you too baby’ Magnus sighed against his neck, Alec acutely aware of the effects such endearments had on Magnus.

Shifting his hands slowly up to Alec’s chest, Magnus peppered his kisses lower down his body as he expertly began to unbutton his shirt. Alec felt the cool touch of Magnus’s lean fingers trailing along his abs before resting along his belt buckle and undoing the latch. Magnus slowly pulled down the zipper, opening his pants to reveal his clothed semi erection. Alec hissed as Magnus palmed over his clothed cock as his tongue lapped over his sensitive nipples.

‘Please Alec, I need you.’ 

Breathing heavily, Alec pulled away slightly at Magnus’ admission, blinking rapidly to try and clear his gaze from the lust filled haze drifting between them.

‘Fuck, Magnus.’ He rested his forehead against Magnus’, slinking his hands around his wrists as he lead him to the couch adjacent to his desk. Reaching into the desk drawer, he locked the automatic door, grabbing the lube and condoms before straddling Magnus on the couch.

‘I hope you're free for the rest of the day because I cleared all my meetings just for you. Just so I could come here and devour every beautiful inch of you.’

Magnus moaned longingly as Alec thrust their crotches together, deliciously rubbing their erections, making them both throw their heads back in surrender.

‘Alexxxaannderrr.’ 

They had only recently began having penetrative sex, preferring to focus on developing a strong emotional bond before they bared themselves to each other. It was moments like this that made Alec all the more happy for waiting, becoming instantly aroused at Magnus’ begging and neediness. As much as Magnus’ flirtatious teasing drove him crazy, he knew the man was learning that Alec always got the upper hand when he least expected it.

‘I don’t know Magnus, after your little display this morning, I’m sure not if you deserve this.’

Biting his neck, Alec’s erection twitched at the needy whimpers escaping Magnus’ slackened mouth. Peppering his collar bone with small love bites, Alec effortlessly undid Magnus’ shirt, unzipping his pants gradually, allowing the enticing sound to vibrate in the air. Magnus shivered as Alec licked patterns along his chest, drawing love hearts with his tongue around his nipples as he whispered a plethora of endearments against his skin.

As Magnus lifted his hips, desperate for friction, Alec took the opportunity to peel off his sinfully tight pants, pulling them down and trapping them around his ankles. Slowly sinking to his knees, Alec dragged his hands tortuously along Magnus’ exposed thighs, fingertips creeping along the edges of his crotch. Enjoying this moment of watching Magnus come undone by his hand, Alec took his time, sliding down his tight briefs, revealing Magnus beautifully throbbing and painfully erect.

Alec stood, towering over Magnus, admiring him in all his delicious beauty. From his kiss swollen lips, to the reddened marks appearing on his neck and across his collar bone, Magnus was truly hypnotising.

‘Magnus, fuck, look at you. You're so fucking sexy.’

The anticipation from the morning and his lust filled thoughts surged through his body as he watched Magnus lick and bite restlessly at his lower lip. Looking at Alec through heavy lidded eyes, Magnus gripped the edge of the couch as he watched Alec undress painstakingly slow, moving his hips seductively as he rubbed his hands over his bare torso.

Between gasps and heavy breaths Magnus stroked himself slowly, the need to feel his boyfriend overtaking him as he grunted ’Alexander. Please.’ between breathy moans.

The sense of urgency and frustration in Magnus’ tone made Alec immediately whip his head back to the man. Magnus’ eyes burrowed into his own, intense passion and heat bleeding against his flushed skin.

Alec knew that he had reached his limit, a place beyond Magnus’ capability to distinguish between logic and feeling. Not used to being at the receiving end of such brazen teasing, it didn't take Magnus long before he was teetering the fine line between wanting and needing. 

The darkening of Magnus’ golden eyes was Alec’s breaking point, giving in to the man’s passion and intent to satiate his every desire.

Dropping himself onto Magnus’ thighs, Alec coated his fingers with lube slipping one slowly into his eagerly awaiting hole. With his free hand he stroked Magnus’ erection as he slowly fucked himself on his finger.

Alec felt Magnus move his hands to his thighs, encroaching dangerously close to his own tingling erection. Stilling his movements, Alec held Magnus’ gaze, before reprimanding him, ‘Hands to yourself Magnus’, as Magnus squinted his eyes at him in annoyance.

He wanted Magnus to watch, to see how aroused the man made him, to hear the reverent moans of Magnus’ name that slipped from Alec’s shaking lips. Magnus once used sex as a way to erase his pain, to escape his loneliness and encroaching agony. Alec wanted his boyfriend to know of true intimacy, of the beauty of two souls joining in such an act of vulnerability. Of feeling his love for him at its highest peak, as the warmth of his affections carefully stroked at his tender heart. 

Resuming his task of preparing himself, Alec added a second finger to his loosened hole scissoring himself open, as he tore a condom packet open, rolling it down Magnus’ shaft.

Magnus hissed at the touch, exhaling as he grabbed onto Alec’s hips, digging his fingernails into his skin. Alec would definitely be covered in Magnus shaped bruises tomorrow but they only served as evidence of their passionate love making. Something he was excited and deeply aroused by.

Removing his fingers, he lifted himself over Magnus as he slowly dropped himself down, allowing himself to be penetrated at a steady pace. Alec rested his forehead against Magnus’, trapping his hands against the couch before slowly lifting himself and impaling himself on Magnus’ cock.

‘ALEC FUCK!’ Magnus’ head pushed firmly against Alec’s, as he balled his fists, trying to steadying his breathing.

Rocking back and forth, Alec captured Magnus’ lips, thrusting his tongue into his wanting mouth, eagerly licking his way into every crevice of him. He caught Magnus’ moans as they vibrated down his throat, jolting him into action as he quickened his pace, bouncing up and down wildly.

‘Fuck Magnus, you feel so good, filling me up. I want to feel every inch of you.’

Overtaken by lust, Magnus wrestled out of Alec’s hold, grabbing his hips as he thrust into Alec, meeting him in the middle. 

Alec felt as Magnus’ cock brush against his prostate causing waves of pleasure to surge through his veins. He cupped his hands against Magnus’ cheeks as he kissed him deeply, allowing Magnus to fuck himself into his body and satisfy his appetite.

Firmly gripping his own erection, Alec began to rhythmically stroke himself, expertly matching Magnus’ pace. He felt as Magnus’ balls began to tighten as that familiar coiling of heat expanded deep within his loins.

Biting Magnus’ earlobe, Alec whispered into his ear, ’Come for me baby’, as Magnus pulled him down firmly. The feeling of Magnus’ warm cum filling the condom deep inside him, pushed Alec over the edge, as he ejaculated, painting Magnus’ chest.

Alec dropped his head, collapsing against Magnus’ chest, exhaustion settling in his bones as he slowly pulled himself off Magnus’ softening cock. Peppering kisses against his neck, he sighed contently before whispering, ‘Happy birthday baby’, as he lazily stroked Magnus’ cheek.

He felt the wetness on his palm, as he raised his head and brushed his hands across Magnus’ cheeks, collecting his tears against his palms. Transfixed by those beautiful golden eyes, Alec noticed the relief and gratefulness shining through Magnus’ gaze. 

‘Thank you Alexander. I…’

Kissing sweetly under his eyes, Alec murmured ‘always’ as Magnus sighed in relief. He pulled the condom off Magnus, throwing it towards the trash carelessly.

Gripping Magnus’ shoulders, Alec laid them both down facing each other as they gracefully intertwined their legs. He didn't care that they were covered in the evidence of their love making, right now he was more concerned with making sure that Magnus was comfortable.

Alec massaged Magnus’ waist as he kissed him sweetly, breaking away as he hummed ’I love you, you are everything, you’ll never be alone again, I promise.’

Magnus stared into Alec’s eyes with such tender vulnerability that Alec had to momentarily avert his gaze, tracing the outlines of Magnus’ features before kissing him softly. He rested his head against the cushion, allowing Magnus to bask in their shared bliss and giving him the space to calm his mind.

Sighing before he spoke, Magnus trembled against Alec’s cheek, ’Alexander. What are you doing to me?’ as he trailed his fingers along Alec’s ribs.

Alec ran his nose along Magnus cheek as he spoke gently against his ear, ’Giving you everything that you deserve.’

Grabbing the blanket hanging over the back of the couch, Alec covered the both of them as he kissed Magnus’ forehead tenderly before fluttering his eyes closed. He took a moment to simply just breathe in the tenderness of his boyfriend before murmuring against his skin ‘Sleep now my love’ as they both faded into oblivion.


	8. My heart is your refuge.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a while since I updated this fic so I threw in some extra soft sweetness in hopes that that would win you over.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who continues to read and comment on this fic. It's sort of been a whirlwind for me because I definitely struggle with writing for multi chapter fics and my attention to continuity. I'm trying, I promise and thank you again.
> 
> I wish you all well :)

It was crazy to Alec, this feeling of reward, of sharing in the joy and successes of those you allow to inhabit a permanent space in the inner recesses of your being. His birthday had long since passed but for some reason, he felt just as elated to celebrate his boyfriend’s divine existence. It was as if he was that friend who also seems to get more intoxicated at celebrations then the person who everyone is there to honour. Who tells everyone he loves them before passing out on the kitchen floor naked and covered in cake batter. 

To be quite honest, waking up to the early afternoon sun pouring through the large windows and onto his sleeping boyfriend was the greatest privilege Alec could ever dream of. Each and every reflection of light that beamed onto them accentuated Magnus’ beauty and radiance in immeasurable ways. His skin glistened like the pearls hidden in the depths of the ocean, waiting to be claimed and admired in all their glory. His chest expanded rhythmically, his breath drawing Alec marginally closer before his Cupid’s bow quivered as the air floated from him. It was the most beautiful display of the human form, a tranquility afforded to the most gentle of souls, a reminder of the fragility of life and the honour of living to love.

Alec truly marvelled at the way that one man could be so effortlessly celestial in even the most docile of states.

Clutching his chest as he felt his heart race, Alec reminisced on his erratic behaviour from the morning. How with a single touch Magnus had so easily been his remedy, a balm to his apprehension and inner turbulence. He still felt the intoxicating effects of their midday fornication, the endorphins lingering, settling and taking residence deep inside his bones.

He lazily draped himself over the edge of the couch as he watched Magnus finish the last of his work for the day. He couldn't deny his anticipation for the night’s events, wanting nothing more than to see his boyfriend’s amusement in the midst of the festivities. 

An opportunity not just for celebration but a moment to reflect, a moment to rebuild, a moment to begin a new journey that embraces the past rather than trying to erase its burdens. 

A small private smile that Alec knew was just for him, spread on Magnus’ face as he gazed at Alec relaxing on his couch. Their eyes held steady, lingering in the serenity of the moment for what felt like an eternity, simply drinking each other in, silently thanking every deity who allowed them to have this for themselves. This life, this love, this pure and unadulterated _happiness_.

Alec carefully swung his legs onto the floor as he strolled towards Magnus, careful to not disturb the placidness of their afternoon. Crossing his legs as he leant on the desk, he was utterly captivated by the intensity in Magnus’ expression. His eyes crinkled as Alec lifted his hand to cup his boyfriend’s cheek, turning his hand over as his knuckles softly caressed the outline of Magnus’ structured jaw.

It was in these delicate and intimate moments that Alec saw the subtle beauty that Magnus possessed. The tender affections and vulnerabilities that Magnus often hid within his exerberant and confident behaviour. It birthed the deepest forms of love that Alec could possess for Magnus, that made Alec want to do nothing more than hold him close and protect him from the harsh realities of life.

He whispered a small ‘Happy Birthday Mags’ as his fingers traced his boyfriend’s face, caressing every unique curve and indentation of his godlike jaw.

Magnus beamed at Alec lovingly, turning his large chair to face his boyfriend as he exhaled heavily. 

‘You already said that.’

The inflection in Magnus’ tone was not missed on Alec, the way his shoulders tensed and voice slightly trembled. Alec knew that Magnus always had issues with receiving the accolades that he deserved. Always questioning the true nature of people’s words, never believing that he rightfully earned their honesty. His past was a fickle thing, one that Alec had long since come to accept as the reality of who his boyfriend as come to be.

Shaking his head assuredly, Alec pressed a lingering kiss to Magnus’ forehead, pausing momentarily before he spoke. He hoped that the confidence in his tone would be a steady comfort to his boyfriend’s insecurities. 

‘I know but I just wanted to remind you.’

Magnus dropped his eyes as he blushed, dipping his head forward in embarassment, his breath fluttering against Alec’s palm. He blinked slowly, eyelashes sweeping against his cheek as he whispered shyly, ’Thank you baby.’

 _Baby._ Alec’s heart jumped at the tenderness in the endearment as Magnus raised his head slowly and puckered his lips, knowing Alec would never deny him kisses. Alec would never understand how such a confident and seductive man could be so damn cute and _adorable_. Closing the minute space between them, Alec allowed his lips to softly brush against Magnus’. The warmth and vibrations of his soft hums providing Alec with an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction.

‘Okay now I’m good.’ The subtle layers of crimson beneath Magnus’ skin dissipated as the corners of Magnus’ delicate lips pushed his cheek apart, a look of complete contentment overtaking his face.

It was a look that Alec had seared into every crevice of his memory. The epitome of bliss, the hallmark of love, the essence of beauty.

Chuckling at Magnus’ adorableness, Alec drew Magnus out of the chair and into his arms, crawling his hands lower against his back as he peppered kisses on his face. The overwhelming feeling of having Magnus against his skin often caught Alec off guard. Never had he felt such a need to protect, such a possessiveness to devour and call another his own. It was more than basic jealousy or longing, it bore from a profound desire to be connected, to be consumed, to be bonded so effortlessly with his truely beloved.

‘Let’s go home.’

Magnus dropped his head onto Alec’s chest, breath hitching slightly at the request, as he nodded earnestly, before placing a chaste kiss on Alec’s collarbone.

‘Yeah, yes, please Alexander, take me home.’

***

Although the car ride to the apartment was short, the anticipation burned under Alec’s skin, tension emanating from his every limb. He needed tonight to go off without a hitch. If he and Izzy pulled this off he knew that this would be a memory that Magnus would cherish for the rest of his life. At the end of the day, all he really wanted was to see his beautiful boyfriend gleaming from within, joy radiating from his every pore. He truly wanted him to have a life that befitting the glorious person that Magnus was.

As they walked along the corridor leading to their apartments, their hands firmly interlocked, Alec pulled Magnus towards him, pushing him against the wall as he claimed his lips in a hungry kiss. 

The nervousness that had resided in his chest slowly began to melt as Magnus snaked his hands under Alec’s shirt to rest against the skin of his back. The feeling of Magnus’ touch made Alec sigh in reverence for the intensity of such a simple gesture. He still couldn't believe that he had denied himself this for so many torturous years.

Smirking as they broke away, Magnus patted Alec’s chest, eyes full of mirth and undeniable desire. Alec was glad to know that his boyfriend was just as affected by their impromptu make out session.

‘What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.’

Alec grinned as he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, ‘Just cause I can.’

Dragging his boyfriend to his front door, Alec trailed behind him, collecting the Chairman from the balcony as Magnus settled himself. He strolled into the kitchen, filling his bowl with cat food, while the Chairman meowed affectionately, nuzzling against Alec’s calf. The Chairman was much more like his owner than Magnus would ever admit. Flitting between moments of masked clinginess and dramatic defiance, Alec knew his love for the Chairman held a sentiment he had long come to appreciate.

‘Mags, I’ll be right back.’

Magnus poked his head out of the door, raising his eyebrow questioningly at his boyfriend as he pouted dramatically.

‘Keen to leave me so soon?’

Alec melted at the dubious behaviour of his boyfriend, anxiety momentarily forgotten as he lazily ran his hand through the Chairman’s fur.

‘No babe, of course not. I’m just taking you out tonight so I want to make sure I look presentable.’

Rolling his eyes Magnus sashayed over bending down to kiss Alec tenderly on his cheek before replying, ‘You look beautiful regardless of your efforts. First thing in the morning or late at night, I love how handsome you are all the same.’

Alec’s heart fluttered intensely, skin tingling at the honesty of his boyfriend’s praise. He was used to receiving compliments from Magnus but lately they had begun to take on a much more vulnerable and candid tone. They were less flirtatious and more endearing, speaking of his love for the man rather than his desire. Alec always noticed the way Magnus would use flirtations as a way to erect his perfectly crafted walls. Seeing him speak so freely and expressing himself so honestly made Alec feel incredibly privileged to be at the receiving end of his affections.

‘ _Magnus_.’

Alec dipped his forward head in embarrassment, lips curving into a fond smile as Magnus trailed his long fingers through Alec’s hair. He became pliable beneath Magnus’ lazy stroking, closing his eyes as he allowed himself to bask in the tenderness of the ministration. 

‘Did I ever tell you the moment I knew that you were a keeper?’

Shaking his head in a comfortable daze, Alec allowed Magnus to trail his hand along his jaw, pulling him to stand before him. He stood gazing longingly into Magnus’ eyes, allowing his face to speak the three words he was terrified to admit.

‘The moment you saw me? How could you resist.’ Alec smirked mischievously as he batted his eyelashes. The cheekiness caused Magnus to playfully smack against his chest with a dramatic scowl. 

‘You are shameless.’ 

Grinning Alec drew Magnus closer to him by his bicep, allowing his thumb to drag slowly along the firm ridges of his arm muscles. Exploring Magnus’ body was increasingly becoming one of Alec’s favourite past times. Whether with his fingers or his tongue, he could never get enough of the lusciousness of his utterly fascinating lover. It was any wonder that Magnus drew such a large crowd of admirers around him. He was the picture of seduction and sensuality, an Adonis of his own, an enchantment that would bewitch the most stubborn of minds.

Magnus took a steady breath before he spoke, eyes darting away from Alec momentarily as he gathered his thoughts. The years they shared in close friendship had taught Alec of the way Magnus used his body to speak the feelings that he struggled to accept. The way he met his problems with stamina, rolling his shoulders back in defiance but only those who knew could see the cracks that revealed his true inner turmoil.

‘I knew I had to have you when I saw how much you loved and cared for the Chairman. How comfortable he looked when nuzzling against your chest. He had lived a hard life and seeing you care for him in that way, it gave me hope for me too.’

Alec released a shaky breath as he thumbed at the tears that collected on the corners of Magnus’ eyes. He hated to see his boyfriend upset, wanting only to bring out that beautiful smile that could illuminated the darkest of nights and become the envy of a universe of starts. Magnus had suffered enough during the last tumultuous thirty years of his drastically eventful life. Alec had long since promised himself that he would never allow Magnus to experience the torment of his childhood ever again. He wanted to help Magnus to heal, to soothe his worries and abandon his pain. If only for a chance to embrace something much more powerful, something akin to love and devotion.

His chest swelled, mouth parting as he stood stunned by the honesty of Magnus’ words. It seemed today was quickly becoming a hallmark of more than just the birth of a child. Today more than ever, Alec felt himself growing intimately closer to Magnus.

‘That…fuck…Magnus…. _baby…’_ Alec shook his head to clear his thoughts, his throat closing up as he drew Magnus into a tight hug. _‘_ I love you _._ Okay? Please, _please_ tell me that you know that. You are more than anything that I could _ever_ dream of.’

Magnus pushed his face tightly against Alec’s neck, rubbing his lips along the dip in Alec’s collarbone. The sensation of having Magnus find comfort in such an intimate place made Alec draw him just that little bit closer.

Magnus’ arms wrapped around Alec’s back as his fingers dung into the sides of Alec’s torso. He felt as Magnus murmured ‘I know, I’m trying, I promise, I’m sorry’ repetitively against his skin. The tremble in Magnus’ voice made Alec frown, he hoped and wished that tonight would finally erase his boyfriend’s doubts.

They stood wrapped in each other’s arms, oblivious to the happenings of the world outside of Magnus’ apartment. Alec knew that the war that Magnus constantly fought within him was far from over. Although he had come a long way since the begging of their friendship, the remnants of his past still lingered and emerged in the most unexpected of ways. He knew that all he could offer was patience, patience and constant reassurance that their love would carry them beyond the pains of the forgotten.

Alec sighed as he eventually released his grip on Magnus’ arms, pushing away gently but not enough to relinquish his hold. He was content to simply spend the night with Magnus cuddled in his arms, trading tender and chaste kisses on the couch before allowing their bodies to come together intimately in throughout the apartment. However he didn't want to ruin the time and effort that he and Izzy had dedicated towards the celebration of Magnus’ birth. The privilege of having him in their lives. The honour of loving him.

‘I’ll see you in an hour.’ 

Peppering light kisses to Magnus’ forehead, Alec squeezed his arm to alert him of his departure. He smiled affectionately at Magnus’ soft whimper, holding his gaze with those beautiful golden eyes as he backed out into their shared corridor.

As hard as walking away from Magnus in such a pliable state was, he knew that after tonight the man would know that he was truly here to stay.

***

Alec’s apartment looked nothing short of spectacular. Izzy had truly outdone herself with the decorations and catering for the intimate yet monumental event. He had stood in shock, hugging his sister tightly, capturing her in his arms as she skipped over towards him. 

His apartment had transformed into an oasis of Magnus Bane.

The room was adorned in navy and gold balloons, delicious and quaint finger foods filled the kitchen bench. An array of cocktails sat on a makeshift bar next to his balcony beneath a ‘Happy Birthday Magnus’ banner. A three tiered cake sat on a table next to the bar, pictures of the Magnus throughout the years stuck against the golden icing. 

The atmosphere screamed Magnus, an ode to a man of great strength and vivaciousness. He hoped that this occasion would be one in many to show Magnus a mirror to himself, reveal to him who he truly was to them.

He nervously stroked his hand down his burgundy shirt, leaving the top button open in the way that he knew Magnus loved. Gazing around the room, he smiled at the small pockets of their friends that filled his apartment. A steady murmur rang through the air as they awaited their esteemed guest in apprehension.

Nodding at Izzy as she tapped on her watch, Alec allowed her to gather everyone together while he strolled out his door to collect his boyfriend. He stilled for a moment and steadied his breathing before knocking on the familiar door in his usual pattern.

All the air was knocked from his lungs when he opened the door to the beautiful man that stood in front of him. Magnus had styled his hair in an elegant quiff, the tips of his hair dusted with golden flakes. His artfully lined eyes beamed as Alec allowed himself to admire the way his navy suit clung to his firm body, accentuating his curves in all their glory.

‘Wow…..Magnus… _Magnus_ … _Wow_.’

Alec stood rooted to the ground, unsure of whether to melt into a puddle in the hallway or abandon the party and devour every inch of Magnus’ body. The man was pure sin, a temptation sent to Alec to test his every resolve. He exemplified the epitome of gluttony, of a need to consume and ravage, an abandonment of conscious will and the succumbing to your every desire.

‘Hello Alexander, don’t you look positively dashing.’

Fuck. Magnus’ velvety tone was going to be the nail in his coffin. He wasn't sure how he was going to survive the rest of the night, how he was going to share Magnus with everyone when he wanted him all to himself.

Alec shook his head in astonishment, his words coming out in breaths as he attempted to express his appreciation for Magnus’ aesthetic.

‘I wish you could see yourself right now. I’m so tempted to rid you of those clothes and satiate my hunger in much more enjoyable ways.’

Magnus’s eyes widened before darkening in lust as he murmured a _darling_ into the tense space between them. Both a challenge and a question in his tone, one that Alec would be all too happy to oblige.

Grinning at his brazenness, Alec pulled Magnus towards him by his wrist, reaching behind him to shut his door. The sharp inhalation in Magnus’ chest vibrated within their close proximity as Alec breathed against his temple.

‘I just need to grab my wallet from my apartment and then we can go.’

Alec’s heart pounded wildly against his chest in anticipation, making the torturous walk to his front door seemed painful. He turned to sneak a quick glance at Magnus, reassuring himself that his boyfriend was none the wiser of his trickery. 

Opening his front door, he dragged Magnus into his apartment, interlocking their fingers before the lights illuminated the crowded room. Loud cheers of _surprise!_ and _happy birthday!_ burst from their diverse group of friends, as Magnus stood in utter shock, eyes slowly tracking around the room.

Before Alec knew it, Magnus was ripped from his grasp and pulled into the well wishes of his many friends. He watched in joy as Magnus stood in shook, struggling adorably to deal with the onslaught of love from his companions.

The speakers began to blare a range of upbeat songs, as the room was consumed by the happiness of mutual connections. He watched as Magnus drifted between different groups of his friends, his beautiful and melodious laugh bouncing off the walls and finding residence in Alec’s heart.

Not even an hour into the party and he could tell that many of their friends were well on their way to undesirable levels of intoxication. Jace was currently cornering Clary against the kitchen bench, swaying lightly, no doubt pouring his non sensical drunken love into her ear. Cat and Maia were sitting much closer than expected from two people who had barely been acquainted whilst Raphael stared blankly as Simon chatted heartily amongst the group.

Alec smiled fondly, his eyes connecting with Izzy’s as she swayed while making cocktails in the kitchen. She beamed back at him, a silent conversation of amusement and gratefulness occurring between them. He was beyond thankful for the support and love of his siblings in encouraging him to pursue the life he always wanted with the man he always desired. 

A life full of family, of everlasting love and devotion, of living to your highest potential and enjoying the fruits of existence with the people you loved dearly.

They decided to cut the cake earlier than scheduled, knowing that it was inevitable that Jace would find a way to cover them all in icing at some point in the night. Magnus hummed appreciatively as he salivated at the copious layers of his favourite Red Velvet cake. Alec watched on fondly as Cat spoke of Magnus’ many fashion mistakes in his youth and the times she had to save him from drunkenly embarrassing himself.

He had never seen Magnus so free and without reservation. It was as if a great weight had been alleviated from him, allowing him to relax into his surroundings and enjoy being immersed in the lightness that life can bring.

As the music blared through the speakers and Izzy bought everyone a little closer to complete inebriation, Alec decided to take a moments break on the balcony. He smiled as he stepped through the glass doors, the chilly night air cooling his heated skin. He drifted between the few people that littered the balcony, taking residence on the bench that sat against the wall in a quiet corner.

Fairy lights had been hung on the walls, with large candles scattered around the outdoor space to create an intimate and tranquil atmosphere. Alec allowed his head to fall back against the wall, eyes tracing the empty spaces between the stars as he slowly sipped his whiskey.

The serenity of his musings gave him a chance to reflect on the defining moments of his and Magnus’ relationship. Of how they stupidly avoided their affections for each other, allowing their insecurities to consume them in the face of fear and rejection. His heart warmed thinking of the way that Magnus had taken charge of his inner demons, committing himself towards releasing the the facets of his life that no longer served him. His strength and tenacity filled Alec with an immense love and pride for his rebellious boyfriend. 

He tensed momentarily as he felt a warm hand on his thigh, his body relaxing as Alec took in his glassy eyed and obviously drunk boyfriend. Magnus had long since abandoned his jacket, loosening a few of his buttons to reveal that beautifully constructed chest he hid beneath his many layers. His sleeves were rolled up, the veins in his forearms on display, making Alec’s mouth water profusely. He definitely had a Magnus kink and he wasn't ashamed to admit how wild the man drove him.

‘I’ve been looking for you.’

Alec pushed his hand under Magnus’ palm, interlocking their fingers as he drew their hands to his lips. Magnus sighed at the gesture, leaning forward unconsciously to draw himself closer to Alec.

‘Sorry, I was just taking a breather.’

Shaking his head, Magnus swayed slightly as he confessed, It’s okay, I just… missed you. That’s all’ before placing a sloppy kiss on Alec’s cheek.

Smiling fondly at the unguarded affection in Magnus’ gaze, Alec’s tongue trailed the edges of his lower lip. He grinned as his intoxicated boyfriend clung to him, his body moving clumsily as he shifted into Alec’s lap.

He wouldn't deny that he loved the clinginess of his boyfriend when he was under the influence of alcohol. The way he would demand the feel of Alec against him, burying himself into every crevice and space of Alec’s body that he could find. Alec knew how touch starved Magnus truly was, how much he craved honest and true affection, how he yearned for touch not just for desire but for reassurance of love.

Alec tilted his head up as Magnus’ arms wrapped around his neck, their bodies fitting effortlessly into each other. They sat in the silence of the night, staring longingly into each other’s eyes, a thousand promises and affections being silently spoken.

‘Mmmmm, _my_ Alexander, how I love you.’

The words reverberated against Alec’s chest, a small gasp escaped his parted lips as he absorbed the weight of Magnus’ words. It never really bothered Alec that Magnus had been so withdrawn and momentary with his affections. He knew that Magnus’ past had caused him to develop an innate fear of his own vulnerability. An aversion to a profound depth of intimacy which had caused him to develop formidable emotional blocks. 

It had taken Alec more than a year to break through Magnus’ facade of confidence and allow the man a space to relax into their friendship. Now within the short space of their relationship, Magnus had surprised Alec more than he could ever understand. 

He didn’t realise how much hearing those words spoken so earnestly would affect him. It wasn't the words per say, Magnus constantly showed Alec his love for him in more subtle and hidden ways. It was more the way he spoke them, the way he claimed them as his own. The way his tongue curved the edges of each letter as he whispered into the space between them.

Alec gaped as ripples of heat licked across his skin. His stomach clenched, mind reeling at how insane Magnus made him feel. He couldn't understand how Magnus didn't know the affect his mere presence had on Alec. The way he would lose control of his thoughts, his limbs would relinquish all restraint, as he surrendered to the whirlwind that is Magnus Bane.

Raising his palm to caress Magnus’ cheek, Alec pulled him down into a searing kiss, allowing himself to be consumed in the moment. Magnus’ hands tightened around his neck, fingers dancing along his nape and gripping into his hair.

He tasted the mixture of burnt caramel and whiskey from Magnus’ cocktail as he sucked Magnus’ tongue into his mouth. Their tongues danced effortlessly, neither fighting for dominance or command, rather allowing their bodies to instinctively guide them in their bliss. Alec drank Magnus’ every moan and whimper, sucking Magnus’ lower lip into his mouth in a distinct act of passion.

Eventually they drifted apart, Alec nestling into the space between Magnus’ bicep and chest, while Magnus hummed into his hair. 

‘Thank you Alexander. For everything. For this party, for showing me what birthdays should be, for never allowing me to push you away. Thank you for loving me. For embracing my broken self. I was scared to tell you how I really felt but after tonight, I know I want nothing but to share my life with you….forever.’ 

He took a moment after Magnus’ sincere and frank confession to grant his boyfriend a chance to breathe. He knew that the admission would have been extremely hard for Magnus to voice, the alcohol a sure balm for his anxieties.

Pulling himself away from Magnus, he watched as Magnus darted his eyes around the balcony in embarrassment, avoiding Alec’s gaze.

‘Hey. Hey Magnus, look at me.’

Alec spoke softly as he shuffled Magnus’ legs snuggly in his lap, his arms curling and tucking over his thighs.

‘You are not broken, you are complete. Completely and honestly you. Your life has made you into the strong and loving man that you are. I love every single piece of you. I want all of you. I need you in my life. I told you once and I’ll tell you again, I don't have a choice anymore. You are who my heart has chosen for me, who my soul has chosen for me. I love you Magnus Bane. Wherever life takes us, whether we are together or not, I will always love and fight for you, I will always respect and honour you. Forever and always.’

Alec felt the sob that emerged from deep within Magnus’ chest as the tears ran freely down his cheeks.  He pulled Magnus into an airtight hug, allowing him the moment to process their confessions, a moment to release himself of the heavy emotional burdens that he carried.

‘I love you Alexander. I love you. _I love you_.’

The coarseness of Magnus’ voice as he branded the words into Alec’s skin was not lost on Alec. He felt a surge of possessiveness rush through his veins, a need to protect and sanctify their blossoming love. 

They sat cuddled into each other, conserving the shared heat trapped between their bodies as they sipped Alec’s whiskey. Alec had long abandoned any sense of control over his affections, stealing frequent tender kisses as he drew comforting circles on Magnus’ back. He chuckled as Magnus yawned against his temple, comforting himself by nestling further against Alec’s body.

‘Oh, Magnus. Let’s get you to bed.’

Guiding Magnus off his lap, Alec smirked when Magnus refused to release his arms from around his neck, burying his head into his shoulder.

‘Alexander?’

The softness of Magnus’ voice made Alec’s heart tighten, he drew their chests together as he dipped his head.

‘Yes Magnus?’

‘Will you stay with me tonight?’

Honestly, _honestly_ who was Alec to deny Magnus anything. His insanely beautiful boyfriend, the man that he had destroyed his former self for, the person that had taught him to be brave, the soul that he would fiercely fight to love for an eternity.

‘Of course my love. There’s nowhere I’d rather be.’

He watched as any remaining tension left Magnus’ body, his arms slacking as Alec took him by the wrist and lead him back into his apartment. By now many of their guests had either departed or were littered around his apartment, sharing pillows and blankets as they conceded to the slow descend of the festivities.

‘There you two are, I was wondering when you would return from your sloppy drunken sex.’

Izzy wiggled her eyebrows as Jace released a thunderous laugh. His head laid rest on Clary’s lap as she slowly stroked his hair away from his face. 

The cheer from around the room at Izzy’s announcement caused Magnus to dip his head timidly, shuffling behind Alec’s body, self consciously hiding himself from his shameless friends. They were none the wiser for the intimate moment he and Magnus had just shared on the balcony, Alec instinctively shielding Magnus away from them.

‘Okay you lot, enough of that. I’m taking my man to bed. You know where everything is.’

He winked at them all as he dragged Magnus out the door and into his apartment, the cheers and catcalls following them out into the hallway. Kicking off his shoes he guided them to Magnus’ bathroom, lifting him onto the counter as he dug through the top drawer of the mantle.

Alec removed Magnus’ make up using his sandalwood scented wipes, squeezing toothpaste onto his brush as he instructed Magnus to clean his teeth. They gazed into each other’s eyes, Alec bracketed between Magnus’ legs as they carried out their nightly routine. It was slowly becoming one of Alec’s favourite times of the day, when they removed the masks they constructed for the outside world and prepared themselves to find solitude cuddled against each other.

Magnus giggled as Alec carried him into the bedroom, throwing him onto the bed before retrieving clothes for them to sleep in. Alec bit his lip as Magnus shivered when he helped him undress, their fingers moving in tandem to relieve them of their formal wear, slipping into much more comfortable attire.

The cool silk sheets of Magnus’ luxurious bed enveloped them as their legs intuitively wrapped around each other. Magnus snuggled against Alec’s chest while Alec wrapped his arm across Magnus’ shoulders. Irregardless of the location of their slumber, they always found a certain comfort in each other’s arms. 

In this moment Alec realised that home was never just a place, home was where you felt most comfortable, where you could be your true self, where you felt most alive. 

And honestly, here in the heart of Magnus Bane, Alec had finally found his refuge.


End file.
